


Soul Bound

by patton_pending



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Aromantic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Eventual Deceit | Janus Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Eventual Dr. Emile Picani/Thomas Sanders, Multi, Nonbinary Deceit | Janus Sanders, Nonbinary Sleep | Remy Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26846278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patton_pending/pseuds/patton_pending
Summary: A cat, a deer, a raven, a yellow lab, and a snake. What do all these animals have in common?In a world where those with soulmates are paired with an animalis — an animalistic creature that leads one to their soulmate — Virgil Esmund finds himself being led to four. It’s very rare to have as many soulmates as he does, and he is considered lucky.The thing is, Virgil does not feel lucky. He feels cursed.[updates every monday] [also being published on Wattpad under the username loganlylogical]
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton (Sanders Sides), Deceit | Janus Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Thomas Sanders, Nico Flores/Thomas Sanders
Comments: 87
Kudos: 210





	1. Of All the Gin Joints in All the World

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Soul Bound [OLD VERSION]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18999175) by [patton_pending](https://archiveofourown.org/users/patton_pending/pseuds/patton_pending). 



> Hewwo!! This is a recreation of a fanfiction I started writing a year or so ago! You don’t have to read that one to know what’s going on but it’s a little different than this new version (if you read that version, you can easily see the differences) 
> 
> I plan to update every Monday (I’m in CST), so hopefully I can write frequently enough to keep up with the schedule! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this new and improved fanfic!! 🖤🖤🖤
> 
> Warnings: alcohol mentions/wanting to drink alcohol as a minor, and i think that’s it but lemme know if I missed anything!!!

_ “We’ll see each other again soon, right?” _

_ “Of course we will. Soulmates forever.”  _

_ “Yeah. Soulmates forever.” _

~

“Virgil! Are you even listening?”

“Uh, yeah, sure, Mrs Erickson. I’m absolutely riveted.”

Virgil couldn’t help but be rather sardonic with his teacher. Was it his fault that chemistry was the last thing he wanted to think about right now? Was it his fault that he had more pressing matters on his mind than electronegativity and the periodic table? 

Coco jumped up into his lap and began purring, forcing a smile onto his face. He couldn’t help but scratch his black cat animalis behind the ear, which she thoroughly appreciated.

Everyone was born with an animalis, a unique creature that contained a fraction of one’s soul. That animalis also contained a fraction of that person’s soulmate’s soul, uniting them for eternity. Animali helped people find their soulmates.

People could also see a vague form of their soulmate’s animalis — often referred to as a “quasianimalis” or an “animalis vision” — as a way of helping them identify their soulmates. The only ones able to see animalis visions were the ones whose soul they shared. 

In Virgil’s case, well, he was practically  _ surrounded _ by fluff, feathers, and scales, and he was the only one suffering as a result. 

He had four soulmates, their animali each being a rattlesnake, a Labrador retriever, a raven, and a white tailed buck. Living with all these animals, even just in a ghost-like form, was absolutely exhausting and Virgil felt as though he deserved a damn medal. 

It wasn’t long before the school bell rang, though it felt as though centuries had passed before the sound signalled freedom. Virgil packed up his belongings and went to his locker, Coco riding on his shoulder. His friend Thomas seemed to have been waiting for him with his own animalis; a desert cottontail named Smoky. 

“Hey,” he greeted. “So, my friend Davi is having a party tonight, and I want you to come with me.  _ Please _ say yes?” 

“Nice to see you too,” Virgil replied with a smirk, Thomas rolling his eyes with a smile. 

“Dude, I’m serious. I really, really,  _ really _ want you to be there! I… think it’d be fun, ya know? So how about it?”

“Why? You know I hate parties. Actually, don’t  _ you _ hate parties too?” 

“Aw, c’mon, Virge, isn’t  _ hate _ kind of a… strong word?” he asked a bit awkwardly, Virgil raising an eyebrow. “C’mon, Joan will be there! Really, it’s just gonna be a… little get-together. It’s not gonna be too crowded, I promise.” 

“As much as I appreciate the invite, I doubt Davi wants a stranger to show up at their party.” 

“I already asked them if I could invite a friend, and they said yes. So how about it?” 

Virgil sighed softly, thinking it over for a bit. He may not like parties, but he did like Thomas and Joan. Would his love for them outweigh his hatred towards parties? Maybe, especially if it’s as small as Thomas made it sound. Even still, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to test the waters. 

“I don’t know, you know I don’t—” 

Coco suddenly bit his ear, causing him to yell out in pain as he jerked his head away and grabbed her off his shoulders. He rubbed his ear and glared down at her. 

“Coco, what the hell?” he snapped. 

“That’s weird,” Thomas noted, as if it wasn’t obvious. “Does she usually act up like that?” 

“No, she’s never bitten  _ anyone _ before, especially not me.” She seemed to be fine now, content in Virgil’s arms as he held her. “So, uh… yeah, the party, I really don’t think I—”

Coco suddenly bit him again, this time on the hand. He instinctively dropped her, crying out once more as he inspected the bite. It wasn’t that bad and wasn’t even bleeding, but it still hurt. 

“Jesus, Coco, what’s your problem?”

She only meowed annoyedly up at him, walking in circles around his feet. What was up with her?

“She seems to only bite when you’re talking about the party,” Thomas observed, Virgil realising he was right. “You know, animali do help soulmates get together; maybe one of your soulmates will be there?”

The thought of one of his soulmates being there made his stomach churn. He didn’t want to meet a soulmate until he moved out on his own. He couldn’t do this to himself right now, or possibly  _ ever _ . Would it even be worth meeting his soulmate here, anyway? 

His father never seemed satisfied with staying in one place at a time, which put him through enough pain once before, and he just couldn’t go through it again. They’d been here for six months, which Virgil was pretty sure was a damn record. Maybe that meant… well, he wasn’t entirely sure  _ what _ that meant. 

“I guess there’s a possibility, but how would Coco know that?” 

“Honestly, how do animali know anything about… anything?” 

“I guess that’s fair. Even if one of them  _ is _ there, I just… don’t know if it’s worth it.”

“What do you mean- dude, this is your  _ soulmate _ we’re talking about here! Why wouldn’t it be worth it?” 

“You know what happened, Thomas!” That was enough to silence him for a moment. “If my dad decides to pack up and leave again, and I have to leave people behind like I always do… I don’t want one of those people to be my soulmate. Not again. It’s bad enough I’m leaving you and Joan behind, but my soulmate too? I can’t.”

There was a long stretch of silence between them. Coco rubbed her face against Virgil’s leg in an effort to placate him, which only worked a small bit. 

“I know you… got hurt,” Thomas began carefully. “But it can be different this time. You can keep in touch with each other, make it long distance, right?”

“It just doesn’t feel worth it,” he murmured. “I’ve tried long distance before, you know how well  _ that _ worked out.” 

“Maybe you won’t need to do long distance! You’re almost eighteen, right? You turn eighteen, you move out of your dad’s house, you can stay with your soulmate forever!”

“If I’m still  _ here _ when I turn eighteen. I might not be.” 

“C’mon, Virge. Maybe… it  _ will _ be worth it. I mean… you can’t just hide from the world and let everything pass you by ‘cause you’re afraid of getting hurt. It’s not healthy. I mean, who knows, maybe your soulmate will be the best thing that ever happened to you! Will you at least give it a chance?” 

Virgil gave it some thought. It was hard to say no to Thomas. Especially when he gave the look he was giving at that moment. It’s like he was the human embodiment of a puppy. Virgil sighed as he finally conceded. 

“Okay… I  _ guess _ … it couldn’t hurt to go to the party for a  _ little _ while. Especially if it gets Coco to stop fucking biting me.” 

Thomas seemed quite proud of himself at succeeding in getting Virgil out of the house for once in his life. They formed a plan to meet up later that evening. The two of them headed out of the building and Virgil walked home as he always did. 

He was dreading the idea of going out tonight. But for Thomas, he would give it a chance. 

~

Janus rushed out the door that evening without a second thought. Their rattlesnake animalis stayed wrapped around their arm as they walked down the sidewalk, giving a gentle squeeze in an effort to soothe them. 

Nothing could soothe Janus right now besides a glass of Jim Beam. Hopefully there would be alcohol at this party. Maybe then it would actually be worth going to. 

They went as swiftly as they could to the house, hoping to drown their emotions in hard liquor and ear-damaging music. Of course, what they got was apple juice and Karkalicious. Typical Davi. 

They were a bit early, so there weren’t a lot of people here. Still more people than they cared to be surrounded by. They always felt surrounded, like the walls were constantly closing in. 

They downed a cup of apple juice, pretending it was alcohol. It did nothing for them, but at least it tasted good. Maybe once more people showed up, someone would bring the good stuff. Janus could only hope. 

“Got something on your mind?” Davi asked as they approached them with a smile, their ragdoll cat animalis perched on their shoulders. 

“Thinking of ditching town,” was the deadpan reply. 

“Again?” they asked, their smile becoming a sympathetic frown. “Do you need to talk about anything, Jay?”

“No, I’m fine,” they lied. “I just… need to get out of this damn town.” 

“I… I know things have been rough for you lately, but maybe you should think this through.”

“I don’t need to think anything through,” they snapped more harshly than they had intended. “I can’t stay here, Davi, I just can’t.” 

Davi silently sighed as they rested a hand on Janus’s bicep. Their animalis Thomas slithered up their arm to wrap loosely around their neck, pressing his head against Janus’s cheek. 

“You know I’m always here to help you, right?” Davi asked softly. 

“I know,” they murmured. “And I appreciate that. But… I don’t think I can be helped.”

“Yes you can, don’t say that. Whatever’s going on, it can get better. I’m more than willing to help you, Jay, just let me know what’s going on.”

Janus took a deep, shaky breath. They didn’t want to talk about it. Not even a little bit. If they did, they knew they would be punished. They always were. 

“I need to get some air,” they muttered, walking away from Davi with tears in their eyes. 

They ignored Davi calling after them and went out to the balcony so that they could be alone. 


	2. Mismatched Eyes & A Gap-Toothed Grin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how about that new asides episode amiright?
> 
> No spoilers from me but that episode toyed with my ships a little bit just like every episode does :,) thomathy pls
> 
> I won’t talk about it in detail until next Monday though. My lips are sealed for the sake of those who haven’t seen it yet. You better go watch it tho 👀👀👀👀

Virgil had begrudgingly allowed himself to be dragged to a party hosted by someone he didn’t even know and he regretted absolutely every choice he’d ever made in his life, even with the My Chemical Romance coming from the speakers. 

“Want me to introduce you to Davi?” Thomas asked with a grin. “I think you’d like them.”

“I’d rather not interact with more people than necessary tonight if it’s all the same with you,” Virgil replied. 

“Big mood,” Joan said amusedly, their fruit bat animalis Rory in their arms. 

Coco suddenly struggled in Virgil’s arms, causing him to set her down on the ground. She meowed and nudged his leg with her paw. Virgil was a bit confused as to why she was suddenly so antsy. 

“What? What is it?”

She turned her head towards another direction. He wasn’t sure where she was trying to get him to look, as nothing particularly stood out. 

“Oh my gosh, does she, like… sense your soulmate or something?” Thomas asked with a hint of glee in his voice. 

“I don’t know, I… really don’t want her to, to be honest,” he mumbled. “Coco, what’s up with you?”

She let out a long loud meow and began taking a few steps forward. She clearly wanted him to follow her, but he did  _ not _ want to see where she was trying to lead him. 

“Oh my god, Virgil, go fucking follow her!” Joan exclaimed. “Go follow Lassie and find the soulmate down the well! Go, bitch!” 

Virgil couldn’t help but laugh. He very much did not want to follow her, but she didn’t seem to give him any other choice. 

She walked at a quick pace away from Virgil and he suddenly scrambled to keep up with her. He cast a glance back towards Joan and Thomas, who both gave him thumbs ups and encouraging smiles. 

“Coco, get back here!” Virgil demanded, though of course she didn’t listen. By the time he was able to grab her and pick her up off the ground, he suddenly found himself in front of a tall, dark stranger. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. 

Virgil’s eyes locked with this stranger’s mismatched ones — the left a stunning sea green and the right a deep chestnut. There was a burn scar on the left side of their face, and Virgil couldn’t help but be reminded of the character Zuko from  _ Avatar: The Last Airbender _ . They had just picked up their rattlesnake animalis off the ground. 

Coco meowed to get his attention but he wasn’t listening. Everything faded away to a mere buzz in the background as he remained frozen in place. 

They stared at one another for a few more moments before Virgil took off in the other direction. 

He didn’t want this. Not here. Not now. It would only end in hurt and he couldn’t take it. He just couldn’t. 

He got outside through the front door and sat on the porch by the railing. He didn’t want to cry over something as stupid as this but he had a feeling he would. A million emotions were suddenly at the forefront of his mind and it was painful as hell. 

“Are you alright?” an unfamiliar voice asked, Virgil suddenly becoming tense. Was this who he thought it was?

“I’m fine,” he replied, keeping his voice as level as possible. “Just… needed some air.”

There was a brief pause. Virgil hoped the stranger would return to the party, but of course, that wasn’t at all what happened. 

“Same here. You don’t mind company, do you?”

“Do what you want, I guess.” 

He didn’t want to be callous, he really didn’t. However, he also didn’t particularly feel like interacting with his soulmate either, which left him in somewhat of a bind. Assuming this was, in fact, his soulmate. 

The stranger took a seat in the porch swing in front of him. Virgil said it a million times before and he would say it again; he didn’t want this guy to be his soulmate, not right now. How was he soulmates with someone so damn beautiful anyway? 

There was mostly silence in the air around them. The only sounds amidst that silence were the muffled sounds of partygoers inside and the occasional car passing them by. Of course, this silence didn’t last very long. 

“It’s a lovely night,” the stranger noted. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Uh… yeah, I guess,” Virgil murmured in response. “Would be better if my friend didn’t drag me to this party.”

“Mm. Who might your friend be?”

“That would be Thomas. And Joan by association, I guess. I don’t even know Davi, Thomas just decided he wanted a posse or something.”

“Thomas?” the stranger repeated after a beat, Virgil nodding his head. “Funny.”

“What is?”

“That’s my animalis’s name.”

A chill ran through Virgil’s body at this startling revelation. That definitely confirmed that this guy was his soulmate; his rattlesnake animalis vision was named Thomas. Animalis names are heavily connected to bonds between soulmates as well as important parts of one’s union with their soulmates. It was convoluted and complicated, especially with polyamates, but the connection was ordinarily fairly clear once all soulmates involved met one another. 

“So, I guess we must be… soulmates or whatever.”

“I suppose so,” the stranger conceded. “Uh, well, my name is Janus, they/them,” the stranger introduced themself. 

“I, um, I’m Virgil,” he introduced himself shyly, Janus raising a brow. 

“Virgil. Like the roman poet,” they noted, Virgil smirking slightly. 

“Yeah, that guy. You’re not the first person to point that out. Although, usually I get that from English teachers.” Janus chuckled at that, and Virgil couldn’t help but grin. He tried not to but he was absolutely helpless in this person’s presence. 

“You read a lot of poetry?” Janus asked. 

“A bit. Although, funny enough, I haven’t gotten around to reading the work I wrote in that past life,” he joked, Janus laughing. 

“Well, I’m a bit of a basic bitch that reads Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Edgar Allen Poe, bit of Shakespeare, the works.”

“They’re all really talented, so I can’t exactly blame you. I especially love Edgar Allen Poe, myself. He speaks to my emo heart.” 

“That’s… honestly a mood. Any favourite works of his?”

“I dunno, hard to pick.” He thought for a moment, remembering all his poems he’d read. “ _ The Raven _ is a classic, of course.  _ Alone _ is pretty good. Oh,  _ A Dream Within a Dream _ ? Fantastic work, I love it.” 

“Oh, be still my heart!” Janus exclaimed, putting a hand on their chest. “ _ A Dream _ is probably my favourite. ‘In visions of the dark night, I have dreamed of joy departed — but a waking dream of life and light hath left me broken-hearted,’” they delivered with ease, as though they themself had written those words. They smiled softly. “Iconic.” 

Virgil couldn’t help but smile. Janus was clearly passionate about poetry, and he certainly admired that passion. 

They sat and talked for quite some time about many things. Virgil wound up sitting in the porch swing next to Janus as they talked, mostly about poetry and art before moving on to anime and manga. 

“I don’t care what anyone has to say; Todoroki and Midoriya are made for each other and I take zero constructive criticism,” Janus insisted. 

“Okay, sure, but have you considered the fact that  _ Bakugou _ and Midoriya are the ultimate rivals to lovers trope? Plus that sweet, sweet bonus of childhood friends; so friends to rivals to friends again to lovers. It’s  _ perfect _ .” 

“But Midoriya helped Todoroki overcome his personal demons. They’ve formed such a strong bond even in the earliest stages of knowing each other, and there’s nothing but love there.” 

“True. Honestly, I’m kind of a multi-shipper, and Todoroki is my favourite character so any ship with him is pretty good. I’m just a big sucker for rivals to lovers. That and the amnesia thing, where one character loses their memory and has to fall in love with the other character all over again.”

“Ooh, that’s a good one!” Janus exclaimed with a smile. “I’m too basic, just give me a coffee shop AU and I’ll be satisfied.”

“Big mood, honestly. I actually read a Zukka — Zuko and Sokka — fic the other day that was a coffee shop AU. Rivals to lovers, of course. Sokka spilled his coffee all over Zuko’s shirt, who declared them mortal enemies because he’s so dramatic, and then later it turns out Zuko was a new student and they share a class together, and they get paired up for a project and… well, I think you can see where I’m going with this.”

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds really good. I don’t read Zukka that much but I can see the appeal. I actually don’t really read much Avatar fanfiction in general.” 

“Supernatural, though?” Virgil asked hopefully, Janus quickly brightening up. 

“Hell yes! I’m Destiel trash, of course, but… Denny’s pretty good too.”

“Dean and Benny?” Virgil asked, Janus nodding their head. “Nice. Well… I’m kind of a sucker for, uh… Crowlean.”

“Cr- oh my god, is that  _ Crowley _ and  _ Dean _ ?” Janus asked incredulously, Virgil laughing as he nodded his head, a grin forming on Janus’s own face. 

“I also really like Crobby. Maybe Megstiel, which is, like, the only straight ship I like off the top of my head.” 

“Oh, lord help us all. Now, imagine if Jo and Charlie had met? Absolute power couple, I take no constructive criticism.”

“Great, now I have fanfiction to write when I get home, thanks,” Virgil said with an air of sarcasm, both of them chuckling. 

“Sorry if I’m… rambling a little bit. I don’t really mean to, I just… tend to go over the top with stuff I really enjoy.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I love listening to people ramble about things they enjoy. Even if I have no clue what they're talking about, it's the passion in their voice that keeps me interested, ya know? So don’t sweat it.”

Janus paused for a moment, a small grin forming on their face as they nodded. They scratched behind Coco’s ear as she sat in their lap softly purring. 

They both noticed people leaving Davi’s house in rapid succession. Was the party over already? It had felt as though no time at all had passed. 

Thomas and Joan soon walked out through the door and smiled upon seeing Virgil. Virgil blushed, having a feeling he knew what they were about to say. 

“Well how do you like that?” Joan asked teasingly. “This is the new power couple of the century, you can’t change my mind.” 

“Oh yeah, I ship it already,” Thomas added coyly, Virgil rolling his eyes. 

“Ha, ha,” Virgil said wryly. “Janus, Joan and Thomas; Joan and Thomas, Janus.”

“They/them, by the way,” Janus added. 

“Your sou—”

“Yes, they’re my soulmate,” Virgil confirmed before Joan could even finish the question. 

“So…  _ you’re _ the reason my animalis is named Thomas?” Janus asked Thomas, who raised his eyebrows a bit. 

“Uh, I guess?”

“You’re the one who convinced me to come to this party,” Virgil pointed out. “Without you, I never would’ve been here tonight.”

“True. Huh. Well, ain’t  _ that _ something?” 

“So, Virge,” Joan began. “You coming with us or are you gonna chill with this tall drink of water?”

Virgil and Janus both chuckled, Virgil pretending not to notice the way Janus blushed. “Uh, I dunno, it is getting pretty late, should probably be getting home soon.”

“Well, we’re going to Thomas’s place, you can join us if your dad doesn’t mind.”

Virgil looked to Janus. “Uh, do you—”

“No, no, you go. It’s been an honour getting to know you, Virgil. I hope we meet up again sometime.” 

“Same here. You made a party actually bearable, and for that I thank you.”

They exchanged numbers and Virgil went with Joan and Thomas to the car. Virgil texted his dad to tell him where he’d be, though he doubted he cared much. 

Janus stayed seated in the porch swing, watching the car drive away. A contented smile formed on their face and their heart fluttered slightly. 

Davi walked out onto the porch and smiled serenely at them. “So,” they began. “Still thinking about running away?”

Janus paused for a moment, their smile growing slightly. “No. I don’t think I am.”


	3. Slumber Party Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses on who Thomas’s soulmates are? ;)
> 
> Warnings for a brief moment of emotional abuse and cursing, lemme know if I missed anything!! 🖤

“Did you kiss?” Joan asked teasingly as they laid on Thomas’s bed next to him. 

“No,  _ Joan _ ,” Virgil replied from the desk chair as he idly swivelled it back and forth. “We just talked, that’s all.”

“Did you  _ wanna _ kiss them?” Thomas asked with a shit eating grin, Virgil rolling his eyes. 

“Guys, we  _ just _ met!” 

“Hey, we haven’t met our soulmates yet,” Joan said. “We don’t know what it’s like or if there’s that instant temptation to… take things quickly.”

“That’s probably subjective,” Virgil pointed out. 

“True. So… you  _ didn’t _ wanna kiss them?” 

Virgil broke eye contact and blushed. “I… didn’t say that.”

Joan and Thomas both squealed in delight. “I love this new ship!” Thomas declared, Virgil laughing shyly. 

“Fuck off, Thomas. I hope you know I’m gonna tease the shit out of both of you when you meet your soulmates.”

“Assuming we actually  _ do _ sometime this century,” Joan said somewhat jokingly. 

“I think we will,” Thomas said hopefully. “Although I… mostly hope that so I can meet their cute otter and fox animali; they’re the cutest things. Not sure what that says about me, honestly.” 

“So what do you think? You think your soulmates are guys?” Virgil asked him. 

“I mean, I  _ hope _ so. It’d be kinda awkward if my soulmates were girls and I’d have to explain to them that I… kinda prefer…  _ not _ girls.”

“Well articulated, Thomas,” Joan teased, Thomas playfully shoving their shoulder as they laughed. 

“I doubt any of my soulmates are girls,” Virgil said. “I wouldn’t be disappointed if any of them are; really, I don’t have any preferences. Either way, soulmates aren’t always romantic.”

“Good point,” Thomas agreed, pointing a finger at him. “See that? That was a really good point to you. Also, valid argument, Virgil.”

“Thomas, I say this as endearingly as I can, but I fucking hate you,” Virgil said with a grin, Thomas and Joan both laughing. 

“Wait, Virge, how many soulmates do you have again?” Joan asked. 

“Including Janus, I have four. Why?”

“Dude, what if they live in all sorts of different countries? Like… all over the world? How cool would it be to have a soulmate from, like, Japan or something? Like, you could learn more about Japanese culture to… understand your soulmate better or something, I dunno. I think it sounds neat.”

“I… worry about that a lot, honestly,” Virgil murmured. “I mean, yeah, it’d be cool, I guess, but… if any of my soulmates do live in a whole other country, odds are, I’m never gonna meet them. I mean… at least I know… two of my soulmates live in America.” 

“Two?” Joan repeated. 

Virgil didn’t respond. He merely stared down at his hands as they fidgeted in his lap. He hadn’t talked to Joan much about his past experience with a soulmate. How it ended with him leaving a year later. How he tried keeping in contact with him only for the letters to slowly stop arriving. He should have tried harder. 

“I’ve heard of soulmates meeting each other on school field trips,” Thomas said. “I know one guy online who met his soulmate on a senior trip to Germany.”

“Dude, there’s no  _ way _ that happened,” Joan denied. 

“Why not? It could’ve happened. I’d love to go to Germany. I hear they have good food.”

“Where’d you hear that? Your fake friend that went on a fake field trip?” Joan teased, Thomas rolling his eyes. 

“Have you never heard of schnitzel?” 

“That’s the one thing Germans have that’s food related, Thomas.”

“They have  _ sausages _ !” 

“No they don’t! They have schnitzel and beer and that’s it!”

“Yes they do! German sausage is a thing!”

“Well, yeah, but they got it from us!”

“I will google it right now and prove you wrong.”

“Oh, yeah, I fuckin’ dare ya.”

Virgil smiled to himself as they continued to banter. He appreciated Thomas changing the subject so they wouldn’t linger on the topic of Virgil’s soulmates. He always seemed to know what to say and when to say it, at least in terms of assessing others’ comfort levels. 

“See?” Thomas declared, phone in hand. “Bratwurst, German sausage! Dude- there are  _ seven _ types of German sausage on this list alone!” 

“Well… shit.”

“Say, Joan, what kind of soulmate do you think you have? Romantic, platonic, he/him, she/her, they/them, etcetera?”

“I dunno, I don’t care about that stuff as much now as I used to. I’m not really sure  _ what _ my preferences are anymore, it’s all so complicated.” 

“That’s fair. They must be a lot like you though, since they’ve got a bat animalis too.”

“True, we’ve gotta be one in the same. Meanwhile you’ve got every genus of animal known to man,” they joked, Virgil scoffing. 

“Ha, ha. You  _ wish _ you had a dog quasi.”

“Same,” Thomas said without hesitation. 

Virgil felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and looked at the text he’d gotten, which was from Janus. 

Jan: i had a good time tonight, i hope you did as well

Virgil: I did :) you made things better for sure

“Aww, that’s so  _ cute _ !” Davi squealed in Janus’s ear as they read over their shoulder. 

“Davi, settle,” Janus murmured with a half grin as a blush took over their cheeks. They locked their phone and set it on Davi’s bedside table. They sat on Davi’s bed beside them, their back against the wall as they hugged one of Davi’s pillows to their chest. 

“But it’s  _ cute _ !” Davi exclaimed, Janus rolling their eyes. “Are you gonna hang out with him tomorrow?”

“I don’t know yet, I hope so, though. Anything’s better than being at home right now.”

Davi’s smile shifted into something softer as they rested their head on Janus’s shoulder. Their animalis curled up in Janus’s lap and began softly purring, and Janus couldn’t help but smile as they gently scratched her head. 

“I’m so happy you found your soulmate, Jay,” Davi murmured, Janus’s smile growing. 

“So am I. Though the search is far from over.”

“True. You have an entire band’s worth of soulmates,” they joked, Janus scoffing. 

“Ha, ha. You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m destined to have enough people to form a cuddle puddle with.” 

“That has nothing to do with it.” 

“Oh,  _ sure _ it doesn’t.” 

Janus stayed at Davi’s place for a while until they knew they had to return home. They didn’t want to but it was inevitable. Hopefully their parents would be asleep and they wouldn’t have to deal with the repercussions until tomorrow. 

They walked home and snuck inside. The lights were off, so that was a good sign. Unfortunately, the living room lamp turning on to reveal their mother sitting on the couch was not such a good sign. 

“Where have you been?” she asked, disappointment lacing her tone and making Janus’s stomach churn. 

“Went for a walk, needed the fresh air,” they lied. 

“That was an awfully long walk.”

“I needed a  _ lot _ of fresh air.”

There was a stern silence between them that dragged on much longer than Janus cared for. Their mother got to her feet and walked over to them, their heart leaping into their throat. She grabbed them gently by the chin. 

“You’re a disappointment. You know that, right?” she asked flatly. 

“Yeah, I know,” Janus replied softly. 

“Good. Remember that. Now get to bed before I kick your ass.”

Janus quickly scurried off to bed, where they cried themself to sleep. 

~

Logan should have been more focused on his studies, but he wanted to check in on his soulmates. Besides, it was his first class of the day, he didn’t have to worry too much. 

Being in London, though temporary, was sure to grow old as he couldn’t be with his loves. He only had to be there for six months because of his mother’s job, but it was six months too long. At least two months had already passed and he had four remaining. 

**L** : Good morning/evening Roman and Patton 💙

**Patton** : Mornin Lo-Lo!!!!! 💙😍

**Roman** : good morning to you, gorgeous! ❤️

**L** : How has your day been? Still searching for our two remaining soulmates?

**Patton** : I’ve been good!!!! ☺️💙💙💙 Yeah, still trying to find em 🥺 How’s your morning been so far? 😊

**Roman** : missing you, darling ❤️ i hope you’ve been faring well without me somehow after all this time! 

**L** : It’s been fairly uneventful, other than Edison molting when I woke up

**L** : Roman you’re so dramatic 

**Patton** : Weird, Junior was getting zoomies and whining and shedding a bunch earlier 🤔 

**Roman** : a) i know im dramatic #DealWithIt, and b) parker was raking the walls with his antlers all up in a fuss earlier. why are animali like this

**L** : Could it be soulmate related?

**Patton** : Oh no I hope our soulmates are okay!!!! 😖🥺

**Roman** : im certain they’re fine patton no need to fret! we don’t know what’s going on so there’s no reason to jump to conclusions! 

**L** : Roman is correct; cognitive distortions are unnecessary. I’ll do some research on animali behavior this evening and get back to the two of you

**Patton** : Okay 😊 

**Roman** : you kno specs is serious when he breaks out the semicolon

**L** : I’m always serious, Roman 

**L** : I do wear a necktie

**Roman** : ?

**Patton** : Serious people wear neckties

**Roman** : sometimes u wear a bow tie

**L** : Because bow ties are cool

**Roman** : fair enough 

The three of them continued to text until Logan needed to focus on his work. He smiled to himself as he put away his phone and got to note-taking. 

He was confident that he and his soulmates would find Virgil soon. He could feel it.


	4. The First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for food/eating, some cursing, and some heckin emotions and feels near the end, lemme know if i missed anything!!!

A week passed after Virgil and Janus met and they were getting on like a house on fire. It was Saturday evening and the two of them had a date, their first proper one rather than simply hanging out after school. Virgil had been surprised that he hadn’t met Janus at school before until he found out that they were homeschooled. 

Virgil was anxiously searching through his clothes, hoping to find something presentable. He threw on his spiderweb tank top and purple flannel and acid wash black jeans with the chain, the finishing touch being his spike bracelets, velvet choker, and black combat boots. At the last minute he threw on his red and black marle beanie. 

He then decided to put on some black and purple eyeshadow and black matte lipstick. As a treat. 

He looked at himself in the mirror and liked what he saw for once. The tank top brought out the definition in his pecs and abs in a way he loved, and the whole outfit made him feel badass. Putting some effort into his appearance actually made a difference in his self esteem. 

He got his skateboard and began to skate to the park to meet with Janus. Coco trotted along beside him, looking rather proud. She must have still been high and mighty after finding the first soulmate. She’d always been one to take great pride in her accomplishments. 

He spotted Janus sitting under a large tree with a picnic blanket and wicker basket. They saw Virgil approach and smiled. 

“Welcome!” they greeted. “I brought sandwiches and such.” 

“Nice.” Virgil grinned as he picked up his skateboard and set it against the tree. “Is that why you asked me if I have allergies?”

“Well, it’s good information to have in general, but yes.” 

Virgil took a seat across from Janus, who began setting out the food and beverages. They really went all out with the sandwiches, making things like chickpea salad sandwiches, spinach hummus wraps, quinoa veggie wraps, and even chickpea shawarma wraps. Virgil’s mouth was watering just looking at it all. 

“Damn, Janus, you don’t play around when it comes to food,” Virgil said, taking a shawarma wrap. 

Janus chuckled. “My father is a chef, and I wish to follow in his footsteps. Food brings people together. Just look at us.”

Virgil smiled warmly as he bit into his wrap. Words could not describe the flavours that burst through his tastebuds. 

“Oh my god,” he murmured after swallowing. “Are you sure  _ you’re _ not the chef?” 

Janus chuckled. “No, but I do wish I was. I take it you like it then?” 

“One hundred percent yes. Can we go on picnics, like, every day?” Virgil asked, only half joking. He and Janus both laughed. 

They talked over sandwiches and sparkling apple cider. Janus talked about their love of cooking and baking and Virgil talked about his love of guitar. He’d been playing for years and adored the hobby. He got the guitar from his dad, who had passed it down to him. 

“You play any instruments?” Virgil asked. 

“I play piano because my parents force me to. It’s… fun, I guess. I’d much rather play the flute, but they won’t let me.”

“How come?”

“It’s apparently a ‘girly instrument’. Whatever the hell that means.” 

“Damn. That sucks, I’m sorry.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. Once I move out I can do whatever I want.” 

Virgil nodded. “Felt that. I can’t wait to move out of my dad’s house. Just need to get a job and save up money.”

“Coco’s Diner is hiring.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow while Coco made a small noise. “ _ Whose _ diner?”

Janus chuckled. “Very coincidental, I know. I do recommend their food, though.”

“Bet it’s not nearly as good as yours,” Virgil said smoothly, grinning as Janus’s cheeks went pink. 

“Wh-whatever, shut up,” they murmured, Virgil laughing. 

They finished eating and Janus offered to walk Virgil home. Virgil shyly accepted the offer, the two of them heading to his house hand in hand. They got to his door and stopped for a moment. 

“I had a good time,” Virgil said softly, looking down into Janus’s eyes. 

“I’m very glad you did,” Janus replied just as softly. 

There was silence in the air for a moment before Virgil began to lean down. 

“I should get home,” Janus said abruptly, turning their head away. “My parents might… wonder where I’ve been.”

Virgil’s heart twinged painfully in his chest. “Oh, yeah, of course. I… um… I’ll see you later, then.”

Janus nodded slightly. “Y-yeah.” With that, he walked away, and Virgil stormed inside. 

~ 

“They  _ what _ ?” Thomas practically screamed. 

Virgil had texted Thomas and Joan right after his date because he needed someone to talk to. These two just happened to be the perfect post-date candidates. They all sat on Virgil’s bed to talk about the events that transpired. 

“I know, I just… I’m a little surprised, I thought things were going well. Did I… did I mess up something? Did I do something wrong?”

“Did they know you wanted to kiss them?” Joan asked. 

“I think so! I mean, maybe. I don’t know. Maybe they misread something? I - I just don’t know.”

“Maybe they just weren’t ready,” they suggested. “I mean, the first kiss is a big deal, ya know?”

“I mean… I guess that’s true. But why didn’t they just say so?” 

“Yeah!” Thomas agreed. “I would’ve said something if it was me!” 

“Just talk to them,” Joan said, essentially ignoring Thomas’s comment. “If you’re upset over this, the best thing to do is talk it out. If they’re a good soulmate, they’ll listen.” 

Virgil nodded, understanding their point. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks guys.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Joan smiled. 

“And if you need someone to… ya know, talk some sense into this guy, you know who to call.”

Virgil scoffed. “Yeah, anyone but you.”

Joan laughed at that while Thomas looked offended to the core. “Excuse you, I take offence to that!”

“No, dude, he’s got a point,” Joan concurred. “You're about as intimidating as a sock.”

Thomas playfully shoved Joan’s shoulder. “Rude!”

“But also true,” Virgil said with a smirk. 

“Whatever, so how did the rest of the date go aside from the end?”

Virgil saw his attempt to change the subject and let him have it. “It went really well, actually. Guys, they’re such an amazing chef, you should’ve seen some of the food they made.”

“Do not make me hungry right now,” Joan jokingly warned. 

“I’m just saying! I had such a good time… thought they did too.”

“Hey, no spiralling,” Thomas said sternly. “I’m sure they had an amazing time, so don’t you dare overthink it.”

“Yeah, Thomas is right,” Joan agreed. “Just focus on what made you happy about the date.”

“You guys do know who you’re talking to, right?” 

“What was your favourite part of the date?” Thomas asked. 

Virgil thought for a moment, though he knew what Thomas was doing. “I guess just… getting to know them. They… have a lot of love for things like poetry and cooking and stuff. They have passion, and I admire it.”

“I do love me a man that can cook. Or, I guess in this case, a nonbinary… pal,” Thomas said, bringing a grin to Virgil’s face. 

“They want to be a chef like their dad. They have goals. I want goals, where do I get those?”

“You gotta come up with them,” Joan said. “Maybe you could be a musician; you love playing guitar.”

“Will that help me long-term, though? Musicians don’t always make it big, some never even get past playing on the street, if they even get to that point. I need something reliable. Maybe I could go to law school, I get good enough grades for that, right?”

“Virgil, you hate cops,” Thomas pointed out. 

“That- yeah, that’s fair. What about psychology? I could be a psychologist, right?”

“I can see you in psychology, yeah,” Joan said with a nod. 

“Same, yeah,” Thomas agreed. “So you’re gonna go to college, then? We can help you find a school with a good psychology program.”

“Hell yeah. We got you covered.”

Virgil smiled. “Thanks, guys.”

“We’re always here for you,” Thomas said, Joan agreeing. 

“This is getting sappy,” Virgil murmured, the other two chuckling. 

“Let’s just watch YouTube until we pass out,” Thomas suggested. 

“I like this plan.”

Once Thomas and Joan ensured it was okay for them to spend the night at Virgil’s house, Virgil let them borrow some comfier clothes and they all got changed. Virgil opened his laptop and laid down on his bed, Thomas and Joan laying on either side of him. 

“What shall we watch tonight? Half Life VR But the AI is Self Aware? Or maybe something without plot; gaming videos?”

“Bold of you to assume that VR AI has plot,” Joan joked. 

“Hey, it’s got plot, it’s just all over the place. And that settles it, that’s the one we’re watching.” 

They settled in to watch it, and a few episodes in, they started getting tired. Joan and Thomas rested their heads on Virgil’s shoulders and Virgil couldn’t help but smile. His eyes fluttered closed and he rested his head against Thomas’s. He was asleep within moments, feeling safe and secure with his friends by his side. 

~  **_Four Months Later_ ** ~

Virgil packed the last box into the moving van. He’d been dreading this day, and here it was right before him. He wasn’t ready, but if he had an eternity he still wouldn’t be. 

He turned to his friends, who had insisted on being there with him. He didn’t want them there. That meant he had to say goodbye. 

“I’m not sure what to say,” he said brokenly. “I’m gonna miss you.”

Thomas crushed him in a hug, which Virgil quickly returned. He fought back tears to the best of his ability, though one or two slipped out. 

“Take care of yourself or I… I will fight you,” Thomas said, Virgil laughing humourlessly. 

“Will do.”

Thomas stepped back, rubbing at his eyes. Joan then gave him a bit of a gentler hug. 

“What Thomas said,” they murmured. 

“Yeah.”

“And you better make friends.”

“I’ll… try, I guess.”

“You better try your damn ass off.”

“Okay, okay.” Even with the sadness, Virgil couldn’t help but smile. 

He reluctantly got into the car. He didn’t want to, but he had no choice. His dad drove off, and that was that. 

Janus wasn’t there. Virgil had made sure of that.


	5. Chance Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for crying, a panic attack, some capslock for emphasis, and i think that’s it but lemme know if I missed anything!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤

It was the first day at Virgil’s new school. He wanted to vomit. 

He was tempted to skip it. Besides, his dad wouldn’t exactly care. Coco, however, had other plans. 

That morning, she woke Virgil up by batting his face with her paw, meowing at him until she had his undivided attention. 

“What the hell-  _ what _ ?” he grumbled. 

She then took his comforter in his mouth and began dragging it off of him, which confused him even further. 

“What are you doing?” he asked in frustration. 

Coco meowed in response. 

“That tells me nothing.” 

She grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and tugged. No matter how hard he tried to fight back, he couldn’t get her to let go. 

It didn’t take him long to realise she wanted him to go to school. 

He got ready to go, all the while questioning why Coco was throwing such a big fit over it. He didn’t want to believe a soulmate was there. There was no way. The odds were astronomical. Then again… what other reason could she have? 

They went out to where the bus stop was and waited, Coco perched atop Virgil’s shoulders. It wasn’t long before someone with a green violet-ear hummingbird animalis came out to stand by the bus stop, a disposable cup of coffee in hand. 

“You’re new,” the stranger observed, glancing over at him. “The name’s Remy, they/them, how’s it going?”

Virgil wasn’t planning on making friends, even if he promised Joan and Thomas he would. He wasn’t in the mood to fight it though, he might as well play along. 

“Virgil. He/him.” 

“Bitch,  _ what _ ?” Remy asked, sliding their sunglasses down the bridge of their nose to take a better look at him. 

“Wh-what?” Virgil asked in confusion. 

“That’s the name of my animalis,” they said, Virgil raising an eyebrow. 

“Huh. That’s… interesting.”

“So, like, are we friends now? Clearly you’re significant; why else would you be named after my animalis? Virgil isn’t exactly a common name, it’s gotta be you, right?”

“I mean… I guess. Maybe. I’m not exactly in a friendly mood, though.”

“Oh, honey, no one is at this hour. Why do you think I have the magic bean juice?”

Someone else ran up from the same direction, their river otter animalis in their arms. “I can’t believe you left without me!” they said to Remy. 

“Well, guess what; I did, slowass.”

“I take it you two are friends?” Virgil commented. 

“Siblings, actually,” the new stranger corrected. “I’m Emile, he/him, and this sweet boy is Quartz. Do you how do?” he asked with a smile. 

“Uh, Virgil, he/him, I do… uh, good, I guess.”

Emile’s smile brightened. “Virgil, just like—”

“Just like my animalis, yeah, we figured that out already,” Remy said. 

“Well, it’s lovely meeting you!” Emile said with a bright smile. 

Virgil didn’t respond as the school bus began approaching. He softly sighed, Coco rubbing her head against his. 

“Nervous about your first day?” Emile asked, Virgil nodding shyly. “No worries! We can stick with you as much as we can if you want! Help you make your way around the school!” 

As much as Virgil appreciated the offer, that sounded an awful lot like making friends. He couldn’t afford that, he couldn’t lose anyone else. Not again. 

“No, I’m good. I’ll figure it all out. I’ve been to quite a few schools in my life, trust me, I got this.” 

“Oh well, suit yourself,” Remy said, sipping the last of their iced coffee. “But we’re still sitting together on the bus, don’t even  _ try _ to fight it.” 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” 

The three of them boarded the bus and found an empty seat near the back, Remy and Emile sitting there while Virgil sat in the seat behind them next to a silent stranger. 

“So,” Remy began, turning around in their seat. “What’s your story?”

“My story?” Virgil echoed in confusion. 

“Yeah, y’know, where you came from, why you’re here, all that jazz.”

“Oh. Well… I’m from Georgia. But I’ve moved around a lot before that, so it’s hard to say where I’m…  _ from _ , I guess. Home is a foreign concept to me.”

“Well what brought you from Georgia to Florida?” Emile asked. 

“My dad. Just like always. He’s been moving all over the place since my mom died. I don’t think he’ll ever stop, honestly.” 

“I’m so sorry to hear about your mom,” Emile said sympathetically. 

“It’s fine, I was a baby. So you can imagine how often I’ve moved around.”

“I can see why he’d wanna move the first time,” Remy said. “He wanted to get out of the house that reminded him too much of that. But… how many times have you moved?”

Virgil thought for a moment, remembering all the houses he’d lived in, all the schools he’d been to, and realising something with sudden clarity. 

“I have no idea.” 

“Is your fear of moving away the reason you don’t wanna make friends?” Emile asked, catching Virgil off guard. 

“You- what?”

“Emile, stop psychoanalysing the new kid,” Remy said, as though this was a regular occurrence. 

“Sorry, can’t help it. Not my fault I wanna be a therapist.”

“I think it is, actually.”

“You can’t control what you like! For example, I can’t control my love of cartoons. Say, Virgil, do you like cartoons?”

“Oh boy, here we go,” Remy said in mock exasperation. Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle at them. 

“What?” Emile asked. “I do not control the special interest.” 

“Uh, it depends on the cartoon,” Virgil finally replied. “Steven Universe, Teen Titans, Adventure Time, Avatar, all amazing.”

Emile flapped his hands slightly, a bright smile on his face. “Steven Universe is my favourite! I have a Steven Universe blog called ‘the smokiest quartz’ on Tumblr where I post theories and stuff! Say, can we  _ talk _ about Pink Diamond?” 

“Y’all are nerds,” Remy said observantly. 

Virgil scoffed. “Trust me, you haven’t seen the half of it.” 

The three of them talked until they arrived at the high school. Virgil was dreading this moment, but Coco couldn’t seem to get off the bus quick enough. She kept on meowing as she maneuvered her way to the door. 

“Coco, get back here!” Virgil called, trying to make his way towards her. 

“Someone’s animalis is feisty,” Remy teased. 

“Maybe your soulmate is nearby!” Emile suggested. 

“If God is real, my soulmate won’t be within even a thousand mile radius of this school!” Virgil retorted. 

The moment he stepped out the door, he was tackled to the ground by a very familiar Labrador. 

“Buddi!” a voice called as the yellow lab licked Virgil’s face. He heard Coco meow. “Oh, hello, kitty!”

“Get your mutt off of me!” Virgil shouted, feeling anxiety creeping up his spine. 

“Oh, sorry! Buddi, come here!”

Soon enough, the dog was off of Virgil’s chest and he could finally get to his feet. He looked around for Coco only to realise she was rubbing up against the stranger’s legs. Traitor. 

Unless this was… no, it couldn’t be. 

“I’m so sorry about Buddi,” the stranger said. “Don’t know what got into her. Anyway, um, I’m Patton.”

Buddi whined and jumped up onto Virgil, her tail wagging fiercely. Despite his anxiety, Virgil couldn’t help but pet her. He didn’t want to admit how much it helped. 

“Uh… Virgil. That’s, uh… my name.”

“Your cat looks a lot like one of my quasis,” Patton said with a small smile. “Are we—”

“I need to go,” Virgil blurted out, picking up Coco and darting off, despite Coco’s complaints. 

He went inside the school, quickly finding the restroom much to his advantage. He went in and locked himself in a stall and sat on the toilet where he could panic in… “peace”. 

He held Coco close, as she always helped to ground him. Except for this time. 

She wriggled out of his grasp and crawled out from under the stall door, which served to heighten his anxiety. He couldn’t fight back the sob that escaped him as he wrapped his arms around his knees, burying his face and continued to cry. 

He could hear Coco meowing and scratching at the bathroom door and it hurt. Just when he thought he might lose his mind, he heard someone open the door. 

“Virgil?” Patton called shyly. “Your cat’s in here, are you here too?”

Virgil didn’t reply. He tried to silence his cries, but to no avail. Coco crawled back under the stall door and meowed. 

“Virgil? Are you okay?”

_ Go away, go away, go away _ . 

“Vee, we know you're in here,” Remy said suddenly, catching Virgil off guard. “I don’t know what just happened, but you’ve got a soulmate—”

“I DON’T HAVE A SOULMATE!” Virgil suddenly screamed, ripping another sob from his throat. “I don’t care what the universe says, I don’t have any soulmates.”

There was a long silence until someone approached the stall. “Virgil, does this have to do with all the times you’ve moved?” Emile asked softly. “I know it’s scary to commit to someone when you travel a lot, but I know Patton, he’s worth it. Please don’t push him away because you’re scared.”

Virgil continued to weep, out of frustration and anxiety. He couldn’t keep doing this. It’s hurt him far too much. 

Remy’s hummingbird animalis suddenly landed on his shoulder, catching him off guard and startling him. He felt the bird rub his head against Virgil’s cheek, clearly trying to comfort him. 

He heard a chittering as Emile’s animalis attempted to climb up his legs. He placed his feet on the ground to make it easier, and Quartz climbed up to give him a hug. Virgil would rather die than admit it made his heart melt. 

Buddi made an effort to crawl under the stall but was a bit too big. She whined up at him and he leaned down slightly to scratch behind her ears. 

Coco sat by his leg and rubbed her face against it, comforting him to the best of her abilities. It was a good enough combined effort that instead of feeling anxious, he only felt exhausted. 

He set Quartz down and let hummingbird Virgil — Hummingvirge? — flutter off. He unlocked the stall door and Buddi got up to wait on the other side. He got to his feet and opened the door, met with Patton, Remy, and Emile’s concerned faces. 

“You okay, kiddo?” Patton asked gently. 

“I’m fine,” Virgil grumbled. “Just… exhausted.”

Remy got a paper towel from the dispenser and wetted it slightly with tap water. They walked up to Virgil, who looked at them with confusion. 

“Don’t ask questions, just let me mother you,” was all they said as they dabbed at Virgil’s cheeks with the paper towel, likely cleaning up his tears. 

“You don’t have to—”

“Shhh, yes I do.” 

“They’re a mom friend,” Emile said with an amused grin. “It’s what they do.”

Virgil sighed and allowed them to clean his face, though he was sure he didn’t need it. They were soon finished with their coddling and threw the paper towel in the trash. 

“Are you done smothering me now?” Virgil murmured. 

“For now,” Remy replied. “You wanna explain what just happened?”

“Not particularly.”

“Did I freak you out with the whole soulmate thing?” Patton asked, Virgil grimacing. 

“I’m done with soulmates. It’s not worth the effort.”

“What do you mean? Have you… have you met—?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he interrupted. “I just wanna get to class before I’m late.”

With that, he left the restroom. He looked at the schedule he’d saved to his phone. His first period was physics. He began making his way there as the bell rang, hoping he could put this soulmate business behind him. 

He had his doubts, though.


	6. Broken Beyond Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for 100 kudos on this fic!!!! That means the world to me!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤
> 
> Warnings for suicidal ideation (however brief), some anxiety, and i think thats it but please lemme know if I missed anything!!!! 🖤🖤🖤

_ Virgil had just been told that everything was changing. Again. He had to tell Janus.  _

_ He knew this would happen. It always did.  _

_ He had to keep the pain at bay. He couldn’t let himself get hurt. Not again.  _

_ He met up with Janus at Coco’s Diner, their usual place. This time, however, they didn’t go inside.  _

_ “Virgil, darling!” Janus greeted with a smile as Virgil approached.  _

_ Virgil took a shaky breath. “Do you love me?” _

_ Janus’s smile faltered. “O-of course. I love you with all my heart. Is something wrong, love?” _

_ “I just don’t know if you really do. I feel like an outcast in my own relationship.” _

_ Virgil hated himself for what he was doing, but it was for the best. He was doing this for both of them.  _

_ He just couldn’t stand how broken and dejected Janus looked.  _

_ “I-I’m sorry. How do I make it better?” _

_ “I don’t think you can,” Virgil said with a crack in his voice. “I… I need a break.” _

Physics was a drag, but Virgil was expecting that. His next class was fine arts, which he was a bit more excited for. It seemed Coco was also quite excited about it as she ran ahead of Virgil to get there. 

“Coco, slow down!” he called, hoping and praying Patton wouldn’t end up being there. 

That was not the case. 

A large buck made its way through the crowd of students and Virgil stopped and groaned in frustration. 

_ Tell me there aren’t  _ two _ of them here _ , he thought. 

“Parker, get back here!” a voice called through the crowd. If Virgil had to take a guess, he’d say that the deer’s name was likely Parker. 

The buck approached Virgil and grabbed his sleeve. Instinctively he fought back, trying to get his sleeve back. 

“Let go of me!” he demanded. 

The person who’d been calling to Parker arrived with Coco in his arms, and the buck finally let go. 

“I take it this is your Great Prince of the Forest?” Virgil asked, the boy shooting him a smirk. 

“Indeed. I appreciate the Disney reference. And is this your Berlioz lookalike?”

Virgil blinked. “If that’s another Disney reference, it went  _ way _ over my head.”

The boy laughed at that. “No worries, not many can name the kittens from the Aristocats. Anyway, I’m Roman. We… must be soulmates, right? I recognise your animalis, what's her name?” 

“Coco. Yet another Disney reference.”

“I’m beginning to like you. Are you heading to fine arts as well?”

“Yep. Till, uh, Parker here decided to attack.”

“Nah, Parker’s a delight. He only wanted to bring us together. That’s animali’s job, right? Bringing soulmates together?” 

“The thing is, I don’t really want soulmates. I’m fed up with the whole concept.”

Roman frowned. “Let’s get to class, we can talk more there.”

They went to class together, Roman still holding Coco, which she didn’t seem to mind one bit. They sat side by side at one of the metal tables near the back. 

“I never got your name,” Roman pointed out. 

“Virgil.”

“Well, Virgil, mind elaborating on not wanting a soulmate?”

He sighed softly, not in the mood to explain that he broke up with his soulmate in order to protect both their hearts. That he’d lost not just one, but two of them. He may very well never see either of them again. That fact killed him more than anything. 

“Just don’t. I’m… so tired. Soulmates are the last thing I want. Or need. I can’t, I’m just so tired.”

There was some silence between them until Roman spoke up. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m aromantic, so the most we’d be is platonic, or queerplatonic if you prefer.”

Virgil took a deep breath. “I really wish that did make me feel better.” 

Soon enough, class started, and Virgil did his best to focus on what the teacher was saying rather than his thoughts. He didn’t want to think about Janus, yet they plagued his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he had said. He could never forgive himself. 

“-rgil, why don’t you come up and say a few words?” 

Virgil quickly realised that despite his best efforts, he hadn’t actually been paying attention. Now he was supposed to speak in front of the class?

Coco climbed into his lap, startling him slightly. He held her in his arms and stood up. His anxiety then spiked; he felt so out of place and he  _ hated _ it. 

“Come on, don’t be shy,” the teacher encouraged. If only she knew that Virgil was riddled with copious amounts of anxiety. 

He slowly made his way to the front of the classroom, Coco still in his arms. There were so many eyes on him, it felt like millions. He didn’t want to be up here, yet here he was. 

He had to do this though, for some reason. He took a deep breath and somehow forced himself to speak. 

“I… I’m Virgil,” he introduced softly. “I… moved here from Georgia. Um… I really don’t know what else to say about myself.”

“Tell us one of your hobbies,” the teacher suggested. 

“Um… I play guitar. I’ve been playing for a few years. Can I sit down now?”

The teacher sighed, a hint of a smile on her face. “Yes, have a seat.” 

Virgil was quick to go back to his seat and hide his face in his arms against the table. Coco began grooming his hair as he internally panicked. 

“You did good,” Roman whispered, which did little to ease Virgil’s anxiety. 

Once the anxiety passed, it left him just as exhausted as he’d been earlier. He wanted to rest his eyes but he knew he couldn’t. He also wanted to cry but he would rather not in public. All he could do was reflect. 

Two of his soulmates were here.  _ Two _ of them. How was that even possible? Of course, since soulmates were meant to be together, it shouldn’t be all that surprising. This was the work of fate, after all. 

Even still, he didn’t appreciate being outnumbered. 

“You okay?” Roman asked, breaking Virgil from his train of thought. 

He forced himself to sit up despite feeling as though every individual muscle in his body was tied to fifty pound weights. He didn’t feel like responding, he didn’t feel like interacting with one of his soulmates, he didn’t feel like being here at all. Even still, he managed to respond. 

“No,” he mumbled. 

They spent most of the class in silence, working on their individual work. After class, Virgil tried to get to his next class as quickly as possible, but Parker jumped in front of him. He sighed, beyond fed up with social interaction for the day. 

“Virgil,” Roman called, Virgil turning to face him. 

“What?”

“I just… I’m sorry you’re not doing well. I wanna help.”

“No one can help me, Princey,” he said dryly, the nickname forming itself from nowhere. 

“I know that’s not true.” He reached into his pocket and handed Virgil a small white business card. “This is the number of my therapist. I know a lot of people sorta… turn up their noses at therapy, but it’s helped me a lot. It can help you too.”

Virgil was surprised by the fact that Roman was in therapy. He didn’t seem like he needed it. Of course, looks were quite deceiving, and he shouldn’t assume anyway. 

“Thanks. I… guess.”

“Of course. What class do you have next?”

Virgil checked his schedule. “US History.”

Roman groaned. “I have Language Arts. Well, lunch is after our next class, we can sit together if you like? I’m sure our other soulmate, Patton, wouldn’t mind. Have you met Patton?”

Virgil remembered the events that transpired that morning and forced back a grimace. “Yeah, that, uh, happened. You don’t have to take pity on me though.”

“I’m not taking pity on you, I just wanna get to know my soulmate.”

Virgil looked away from him and sighed. “Well I  _ don't _ .”

With that, he walked away, heading to his next class. 

~

After History, he made his way to the cafeteria. He got his food and sat at the emptiest table he could find. He didn’t even want to know where his soulmates were sitting. Even still, he couldn’t help but look around for them. 

It wasn’t long before someone sat across from him. It was Remy, and something told Virgil that they were likely sent by either Roman and Patton or Emile. 

“Sup, Vee?” they greeted, eating one of their fries. 

“Not much. Why are you here?”

“‘Cause you’re worrying me.”

Virgil scowled a small bit. “You don’t even know me.”

“We already established that I’m a mom friend, honey. You look exhausted.”

“Thanks,” Virgil scoffed. 

“I say it ‘cause I care. If you need to take a breather I’ll wake you up when the bell rings.”

Virgil had to admit it was tempting. Then again, how did he know he could trust Remy? He’d only interacted with them for a short time, he knew nothing about them. 

Of course, Virgil was absolutely desperate for some rest. 

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” Virgil murmured as he rested his head in his arms on the table. It wasn’t long before he began to doze off. 

He saw Janus in his dream. That was the only thing he could make out. He wasn’t asleep long enough to decipher much else. Either way, it made him regret ever deciding to sleep. 

“Rise and shine, coffee bean,” Remy said, rousing Virgil from his slumber. 

He grumbled as he stretched and yawned. He sat up and scratched the back of his head. 

“You good?” they asked, Virgil nodding in response. “Good. What class do you have next?”

“Algebra,” he mumbled. 

“Oof, good luck.”

“Yeah, thanks.” 

~

Virgil spent the rest of the school day feeling desperate to leave. Not just because it was school and he hated it, but because he wanted to stop existing for a while. He was in hell, and he couldn’t escape. 

Not unless he did something drastic. 

When school was finally over, he packed his belongings that he needed from his locker and left the building. He normally would have taken the bus, but decided against it today. He had to go somewhere that the bus wouldn’t take him. 

He found a bridge over water. It was fairly high up. He wondered if it would be a painless drop. 

He strongly considered it. He really did. 

“It’s a shame,” a voice to his left said. “The world shouldn’t lose an angel on such a sunny day.”

Virgil turned his head to see Janus there. Their familiar face brought nothing but painful memories, and Virgil couldn’t stand it. 

“Janus, I’m sorry,” he said. “I pushed you away when I shouldn’t have. That wasn’t fair of me.”

“You’re right. It wasn’t. Yet you did it anyway.”

“I wanna make things right, but how? I miss you so much.”

“And I miss you. But you ruined what we had. We may never even be able to meet again.”

Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean? You’re here, you’re right here.” 

Virgil snapped out of his daydream. Looking around, he saw no one. He was alone. Just as he wanted. 

He… didn’t want company at all.


	7. Friends In Low Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some brief capslock (and a brief avatar the last airbender spoiler) but I think that’s it!!! Enjoy 🖤🖤🖤

Virgil managed to find his way back to his house using Google maps. He was surprised to see Emile and Remy waiting outside for him. 

“Virgil!” Emile greeted. “You didn’t take the bus.”

“Yeah, took a detour, what do you want?”

“We were gonna binge some Avatar: the Last Airbender and wanted to invite you to join us,” Remy replied. “How ‘bout it?”

As nice as that sounded, he wasn’t in the mood for socialising. “I’m good, thanks. I need to get to the bat cave.”

“You sure?” Emile asked. “I know you’ve had a rough day, so cartoons might lift your spirits!”

“I can watch cartoons in my room on my phone.”

“We’ve got a flatscreen in  _ our _ room,” Remy said in a singsong voice, taking a sip from their coffee cup. 

“And a Lumpy Space Princess bean bag chair!” Emile added enthusiastically. 

“Sounds lovely, I’ve just been surrounded by too many people for one day, and I need some me time.”

The two of them nodded in understanding. “Alright,” Remy conceded. “But if you change your mind, we live across the street at 1105. Okay?”

Virgil nodded, and the two of them walked back to their house. Virgil walked through his front door, wanting to feel relief but only feeling empty. Nothing’s changed there. 

He went to his room and laid on his bed, not even realising he fell asleep until he woke up to a dark room. 

He groaned, knowing he’d thrown off his sleep schedule, and also knowing he’d pay the price fairly soon. He sat up and checked his phone, seeing he’d missed a text from Thomas a few hours ago. 

**Thomathy** : Hey Virgil!!! Miss you. 💜💜💜

**Thomathy** : Did you take a post school nap again? Hahaha

**V** : maybe i did

**Thomathy** : Considering you took three hours to respond and we have the same school hours, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you did. 😂

**V** : shut up lol

**V** : not my fault depression naps fuel me

**Thomathy** : So how was the first day?

**V** : could’ve been better. guess it could’ve been worse tho

**Thomathy** : Did you make friends? Or at least try to? 

**V** : ugh yeah, with the dorks across the street. i think they care about me or something. gross

**Thomathy** : Ah yes, absolutely disgusting hahah 😂

**Thomathy** : Still, I’m proud of you. 💜

**V** : shut up lol i didn’t do it on purpose

**Thomathy** : Either way it happened and I’m still proud!!! 💜💜💜

**V** : i wanna run away

**Thomathy** : How come?

**V** : i hate it here. you and joan aren’t here and i miss you. im so tired of leaving my friends. i can’t keep doing this

**Thomathy** : I know you’re having difficulty adjusting but I promise you it’ll be worth it to make friends. I want you to have friends so you can be happy and have people in your life that care about you the way Joan and I care about you!!! 

**V** : i don’t know how much more sappiness i can take

**V** : but i appreciate you 

**Thomathy** : XD I appreciate you too. 💜

**V** : i might… go hang out with remy and emile… they invited me to their house to watch avatar earlier

**Thomathy** : DO IT!!! 

**V** : alright lol ill talk to ya later

**Thomathy** : Have fun!!! 💜💜💜

Virgil shoved his phone in his pocket and left his room. On his way to the door he spotted his dad on the couch watching TV. 

“Dad, I’m going across the street to my friends’ house,” he said. 

“Yeah, okay,” his dad replied, not even looking away from the TV. 

Virgil softly sighed and walked out the door, heading to Remy and Emile’s place. He felt awkward, wondering if it was too late. Would they be annoyed with him? He couldn’t stop overthinking. Then again, what else was new? 

He managed to knock on the door, distantly wondering if it was even loud enough for anyone to hear. A few moments later, a little girl opened the door, holding her fox animalis in her arms. 

“Do you have Girl Scout cookies?” she asked innocently, Virgil chuckling. 

“No, I’m looking for Remy and Emile. They here?”

“They’re in their room. I’ll get ‘em.” She then turned around and screamed at the top of her lungs, “REMY, EMILE, YOU HAVE A FRIEND AT THE DOOR!” She then turned back to Virgil with an innocent little smile. “They should be down in a minute.”

Virgil snapped his fingers next to his ear to check his hearing. “Thanks.” 

As promised, Remy came down the stairs with a smile on their face. “Well, if it isn’t my favourite emo!” 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Remy, please.”

They opened the door and let him inside. “You decide to come over for cartoons?”

“Yeah, Avatar is hard to resist.”

“Allow me to lead you to the bedroom,” Remy said with a wink, Virgil scoffing. 

They headed up the stairs and went into one of the rooms. It was decently sized with quite a few cartoon themed decorations; and, of course, the aforementioned Lumpy Space Princess bean bag chair. 

“Hey Virgil!” Emile greeted from said chair. “You here for some Avatar?”

“Yeah, I probably would’ve been here sooner but I passed out as soon as I laid down on my bed.”

“Well I hope you’re rejuvenated!” 

“We’re on book two,” Remy said, sitting down on their bed, which was a Belden bed and was connected to Emile’s at the head. “You need a reminder of book one stuff?”

“Nah, I remember it all pretty well.” He glanced around the room for a place to sit, not sure where he was allowed to be. 

“You can sit in the bay window if you want,” Emile said, as though reading his mind. 

He glanced at the back wall where the bay window was, Remy’s bed sat in front of it. Would it be awkward if he crawled across the bed to sit there? 

“Honey, I don’t bite,” Remy joked, and Virgil realised it looked like he’d been staring at them. 

“Uh, sorry,” he mumbled as he approached the bed. He took off his shoes and did his best not to climb on too much of the bed. He settled into the bay window, laying his back gingerly on the glass. 

They started the episode they were on, the one where Toph is first teaching Aang earthbending and where Zuko learns to redirect lightning. 

“I feel like there’s a message to take away from Uncle Iroh’s speech about the elements, ya know?” Emile spoke up during the episode. “Like… the four nations becoming stronger when balanced could symbolise inner balance and stability. Does that make sense?  _ I _ think it makes sense.” 

“There’s a lot to take from this show, honestly,” Virgil said. “It’s so well written.”

“You can say that again.”

“Like Sokka’s character development alone is phenomenal. He went from being idiotic and sexist to an empowered feminist.”

“Right? He made such a profound change in just three seasons and it’s so organic!” 

“Nerds,” Remy joked, Virgil rolling his eyes. 

“Why, thank you.” 

They watched quite a few episodes, and Virgil became quite enraptured as he always did when watching this show. Near the end of book two, a gentle snore alerted him to the fact that both Remy and Emile had fallen asleep. Checking the time, he understood why; it was almost two in the morning. 

He probably should have gone back to his house. It would be wise to go home and get rest there. 

He carefully got down from the bay window and found a pair of blankets. He tucked Remy into one and Emile into the other. He then decided… one more episode couldn’t hurt, could it? He was so close to the end of book two, he just needed to see Aang go into the Avatar State. 

He crept back up into the window with the remote, intent on going home after the season finale. Of course, he then lost track of time, and before he knew it, he was watching Katara disguise herself as the Painted Lady. 

He yawned, realising how tired he was. No, he couldn’t fall asleep here. He just couldn’t. 

Yet he decided to get more comfortable, hugging one of the throw pillows to his chest. He eventually couldn’t resist the call to sleep, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier with each passing moment. 

It wasn’t long before he was out like a light.


	8. The Best Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for some cursing and crying. And not so much a warning but be prepared for some intense himbo Virgil energy :P lemme know if I missed anything!!! 🖤

_ Virgil had been avoiding Thomas and Joan all week. He didn’t want to, but he did. He couldn’t face them, not after what he said to Janus.  _

_ Certainly not after finding out he’d be leaving them forever anyway.  _

_ He was in his room when the window suddenly opened. His heart leaped into his throat and he was ready to attack until he saw who the intruders were.  _

_ “Joan? Thomas?” _

_ “Surprise, motherfucker,” Joan greeted as the two of them climbed into his room.  _

_ “What's going on, Virge?” Thomas asked. “Talk to me.” _

_ “No, nothing’s going on,” Virgil replied, turning his back and sitting on his bed, facing the wall. “Just get out, I don’t wanna talk to you.” _

_ He didn’t like that he had to say it. Yet he said it anyway. This was for their own good, he just didn’t know how to tell them that.  _

_ “No.” Thomas climbed onto Virgil’s bed and sat in front of him. “You don’t get to do that.” _

_ Virgil blinked in surprise. He looked away from Thomas, suddenly on the verge of tears.  _

_ “You don’t get to avoid me and Joan for days, and lock yourself up in your room, and yell at Janus over something they didn’t do, and then get away with it! Now what is going on? You’re worrying me, man!”  _

_ A single tear finally escaped, quickly followed by a second. He quietly snuffled, wiping his face with the ends of his sleeves.  _

_ “I can’t.” _

_ “Hey.” Thomas took Virgil’s face in his hands, forcing him to make eye contact. “Talk to me.” _

_ Virgil began openly weeping. “I’m sorry!” he gasped. “I - I don’t- w-wanna go! But he-he’s making- me! I don’t wanna- leave you!” _

_ “You’re moving?” Joan asked, finally speaking up.  _

_ “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t- wanna.” _

_ “Shh, it’s okay,” Thomas said soothingly. “You’ll be okay. I promise.”  _

Virgil awoke to an incessant poking feeling on his shoulder. 

It didn’t take him long to figure out it was because he was being poked. 

“Virgil,” Remy murmured. “Wake up, buddy.”

Virgil groaned tiredly, not wanting to go back to school. He wasn’t ready to face the day, he wanted to sleep the day away. 

Of course, the universe was never particularly inclined to giving him what he wanted. 

“Come on, we have school.”

“As if I didn’t know that,” Virgil finally replied. 

“Oh my god, he lives.”

Virgil scoffed as he forced himself to sit up. He stretched his arms over his head until he felt his shirt rise above his belly button. 

“Wait, dude, do you have a six pack?” Remy suddenly asked, poking Virgil’s stomach and making him flinch. 

“It’s barely a  _ two _ pack, much less a six pack,” he quipped, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“O-M-G, are you ticklish?”

“Fuck off.”

Emile walked into the room, bright and cheery as ever. “Virgil! You’re awake!”

“Unfortunately,” Virgil said, yawning and rubbing his eyes. 

“I’m sure today will be amazing, Virgil! You can sit with us at lunch if you like!”

“Let me guess, you sit with my soulmates, right?” 

“Roman and Patton?” Remy asked. “Sure do. Is that an issue?”

“No, just… need to mentally prepare myself to face them.”

“What do you mean?” Emile asked. 

“I… I don’t wanna deal with soulmate bullshit right now.” 

“You met one of your soulmates in Georgia, didn’t you?”

A chill ran down Virgil’s spine. How could he have possibly known that? 

“Maybe,” he murmured. 

“I know it hurts to be apart, but you can be together again.”

“This wasn’t the first time.”

There was a long silence amongst them. No one seemed to know what to say. Until the door suddenly swung open. 

“You kids ready to go?” a woman asked, presumably Emile and Remy’s mom. She spotted Virgil and narrowed her gaze. “I don’t remember having a fourth kid.”

Virgil smirked. “Hope you don’t mind that I stayed the night. It wasn’t exactly planned, Mrs…?” Virgil suddenly realised he didn’t know their last names and felt extremely awkward. 

“Oh, please, call me Dot. You all had better be ready in the next five minutes.” 

“Alright,” Remy sighed. 

“Sure thing, Mom,” Emile said, Dot leaving the room. He looked to Virgil. “You gonna go to your house to get ready or do you wanna borrow some clothes?”

Virgil shrugged. “What I have on is fine.”

“Oh, honey, no,” Remy grimaced. “You’re not an anime character, you’re not wearing the same outfit for eternity, alright? We’re lending you clothes.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at Remy’s significantly shorter stature. “‘We’?”

Remy rolled their eyes while Emile stifled a laugh. “Whatever, shut up! Emile, give him clothes.” 

Emile looked through his side of their closet and found a few options. “There’s this Mickey Mouse button up, a cactus juice shirt, a Scooby Doo shirt, take your pick.”

Seeing all the options, he figured the Scooby Doo shirt was closest to his aesthetic, so he went with that. He then got some dark blue jeans and a Steven Universe belt. They were all ready to go and so they went to the bus stop. 

“What did you mean this wasn’t the first time?” Emile asked. 

Virgil sighed. “I’ve been taken all over the country, Emile, is it really all that surprising that I’ve met more than one soulmate before now?”

“Was it Logan?” Remy asked. Virgil nodded in response. “I knew he was hiding something, but why hide… you?” 

Logan never talked about him? That hurt more than it should have. It wasn’t even all that surprising. The letters did stop coming for a reason. 

The bus pulled up and the three of them got on. They found an empty seat and Emile and Remy sat down. Before Virgil could even think about sitting in a nearby spot, Remy pulled him down onto their lap, in spite of their height difference. 

“Remy, I don’t wanna crush you,” he said with a laugh. 

“You’re not,” they replied with a strained voice. 

They settled on switching out so that Remy was the one sitting on Virgil’s lap, which was a much better arrangement all around. Emile held onto Coco and Quartz while Hummingvirge sat on his shoulder. 

“Has Logan really never talked about me?” Virgil asked, unable to mask the sadness in his voice. 

Emile looked at him sympathetically. “I don’t think so. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you and remember you.”

“Listen, we tried to make it work long distance, and it didn’t. It’s a little obvious why. Some things just don’t work. So I moved on. Or… I thought I did.”

“I’m sorry, sugar cube,” Remy said softly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I’m sure he still loves you.”

“We were ten, I don’t think we knew what love even was. Now I may never—” Virgil suddenly stopped, looking between the two of them. “Wait… you…  _ know _ Logan?” 

Remy and Emile exchanged a look. Remy was the first to speak. “Well… Logan kinda lives here. He’s away, though, with his mom in London ‘cause of her job. He’ll be back soon though, a couple weeks now I think? I still think he could’ve stayed here with someone, like maybe us, but his mom is so paranoid about every—”

“Virgil, are you okay?” Emile interrupted. 

Virgil was on the brink of death he was holding his breath so long. He hadn’t fully processed their words at first but he suddenly realised the full reality of the situation — and just how big an idiot he was. Logan was here? Or at least, he would be soon? No, there was no way this was true. 

Was there really a chance he could see Logan again? 

“Virge, you still with us?” Remy asked, breaking Virgil from his trance. 

“I can’t believe it. Logan… here? In - in a few weeks? I don’t know if I can process that.” 

“Honey, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing,” Remy comforted. “Logan’s a sweetheart and I guarantee y’all will click.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then… what  _ are _ you worried about?” 

“I don’t know!” 

“I think I might have an inkling,” Emile jumped in. “You might be overthinking how he’ll react to seeing you again. It’s been so long, you don’t know what’s changed. I promise you, though, Logan will be more than happy to see you.”

“And what makes you say that?”

A pause. “Because he’s been looking for you.”

Virgil’s breath stuttered slightly. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Remy confirmed. “Just ask Patton and Roman. He’s always trying so hard to find you and the mysterious fifth.”

Virgil hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Janus. Their name is Janus.”

“What are they like?” Emile asked gently. 

“Amazing. Just… I- there aren’t words. They have so much love and they deserve better than what life has given them and I adore them… so much. And… I pushed them away.”

“You what?” Remy asked. “How come?”

“Because that seemed less painful.”

“For some, it’s a natural coping mechanism to push others away to prevent some kind of pain, but it’s not healthy,” Emile said astutely. “Is there any way for you to contact Janus again?”

Virgil sighed before nodding. “What would I even say though?”

“Apologise, for starters. Then explain your reasoning.”

“And if they don’t forgive me?”

There was another pause. “Well… sometimes that happens. You’ll recover from it.” 

Virgil softly sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Sounds easier said than done.”

“It is. But it’s worth it. Trust me.” 

In the end, Virgil wasn’t sure he had a choice. He needed to make things right.


	9. The Waiting Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if there’s anything to warn for but there is some anxiety throughout. Lemme know if I missed anything!!! 🖤

They got to the high school and Virgil was quick to head inside. He had no idea how to find Roman and Patton, so he figured he ought to let Coco lead the way. 

“Coco, you can find them, right? You have before.”

Coco began walking towards the cafeteria, and Virgil scrambled to catch up with her. He followed Coco into the cafeteria, who led him to a table where two very familiar boys sat with their breakfast. He headed over and sat beside them, Coco jumping onto the table. 

“Oh, hi Virgil!” Patton greeted excitedly. 

“Hello, dark and gloomy!” Roman said with a suave smile. 

“Uh… hi,” Virgil replied. “So… I don’t know where to start, but… um… I’ve kinda already met our fifth soulmate.”

Patton and Roman exchanged a look. “I figured that might’ve been the case,” Patton said. “Did something happen between you two?”

“That’s the thing. I’ve been all over the damn country because my dad has moved us around so many times. So when I found out I was moving here… away from Janus… it scared me. So I… pushed them away to make things less painful. But… I don’t even know that it worked.”

“Oh, Virgil, I’m so sorry,” Patton said sympathetically. 

“I can only imagine the pain that must come with parting with a soulmate.” Roman paused. “Actually… I  _ can _ imagine it.” 

“Yeah, Logan is in London right now, right?” Virgil asked, Roman and Patton both nodding in surprise. 

“How did you—”

“Well, Remy and Emile mentioned that part, but… I kinda knew him when we were both around ten. But then I had to move, as usual, and we eventually lost contact with each other. I mean… I eventually stopped getting letters, so… I’m guessing he stopped writing them.” 

They both paused, clearly surprised. This only served to confirm the fact that Logan never mentioned him. Not even once. It hurt, but he expected no less. 

“I can’t believe Logan knew you and didn’t say anything to us,” Patton said softly. 

“Yeah, same,” Virgil murmured. 

“Oh, Virge, I… I’m sure he still remembers you and cares about you, there has to be a reason he never said anything.” 

“And that reason is probably embarrassment at ever knowing me.”

“No,” Roman said firmly. “I know that’s not true.”

“And you know that after… what, a whole hour of knowing me?”

“Technically, I’ve known you for almost twenty four hours.”

“And you met me for one. What did I do in that timespan? Complain.”

“So you had a rough first day of school, who hasn’t? You mustn’t beat yourself up over it.” 

Virgil disagreed but said nothing about it. He sighed and swiped a hand over his face. 

“I miss them. Janus, I mean. Our, uh, soulmate. But… I cut them out of my life before my dad and this move could, so… I dunno, I… I wanna make things right, but would that be selfish of me?”

“Not at all, Virgil,” Patton assured. “I know you and Logan lost touch, but that was a long time ago. We can send texts instead of letters and it’s so much easier to do long distance. I know you can make it work, and it wouldn’t be selfish of you at all.” 

Virgil softly sighed. Perhaps Patton was right. Either way, it wasn’t fair of him to make that call on his own. Janus deserved some input as well. Perhaps the thing that scared Virgil the most was the possibility that Janus was the one who couldn’t do long distance. 

“Do you have their number?” Roman asked, Virgil nodding. “Send them a text, tell them you wanna talk things out.”

“But what if they don’t want to?”

There was some silence amongst the three of them. Clearly no one knew how to answer that one. 

“We don’t have all the answers, kiddo,” Patton finally replied. “But you’ve gotta try.” 

He was right about that. Virgil owed it to Janus to make an effort. He was just scared. 

“Should I- should I text them now? Or maybe wait until after school when they’re more likely to see it?”

“I’d text them now,” Roman said. “Sending the first text is the hardest part, so it’s best not to wait and let the anticipation build up and make you anxious. If you get it out of the way now, all you have to worry about is them texting you.”

Virgil blinked. “That’s… a really good point.”

Roman shrugged. “I may be aromantic, but coaches don’t play the game themselves either.”

Virgil chuckled as he got his phone out of his pocket. He opened Janus’s contact and prepared to send a message. 

“What do I even say?”

Roman held out his hand, palm up. “Gimme.”

Despite not knowing Roman that well, he handed him his phone. Roman was quick to begin typing, and Virgil tried to look over his shoulder to see what he was typing. 

He handed Virgil back his phone. “There, practically perfect in every way.”

Virgil read the text, which hadn’t been sent yet. He was silently thankful for that. 

**V** : Janice, I’d like for us to talk about the way we left things. I wouldn’t blame you if you’re still upset with me, but I’d like to at least explain myself. Get back to me when you’re ready

Virgil couldn’t help but laugh at the glaring typo. He had to admit, it was an understandable one. 

“What?” Roman asked, a touch of offence to his tone. 

“You spelled Janus wrong. It’s J-A-N-U-S.”

Roman’s cheeks went pink. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s just funny to me.”

He fixed the typo before nervously sending the text, locking his phone and setting it down immediately. He released a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding and wrapped his arms around himself. 

“Now what?” he asked. 

“Now… we wait,” Roman replied. 

“‘We’?”

“You know what I mean. I mean, hey, they're our soulmate too.”

“What’re they like?” Patton asked. “Janus, I mean.” 

Virgil talked about them with a smile on his face. Spoke of their passions and dreams and the way they lit up a room just by walking into it. He spoke so fondly he got lost in himself. He stopped, his face reddening. 

“Sorry, that was probably more than you asked for.”

“No, no, not at all! They sound amazing.”

“You’ve got it  _ bad _ ,” Roman teased, Virgil rolling his eyes with a smile and playfully shoving his shoulder. 

The bell rang, and the three of them had to get to class. They went their separate ways, Roman kissing Patton’s hand as a farewell. Oddly romantic from someone who was aromantic, but Virgil didn’t question it; the guy was clearly the theatrical type anyway. 

He went to his class and found that all he could think about was the text he was waiting for from Janus. He tried to focus on his work, he truly did, but it was hopeless. 

What if he never got a response? What if Janus hated him now? What if he had ruined everything? All because he was scared of being alone. 

He isolated himself out of fear of isolation. Ironic, and oh so stupid. 

He got to fine arts and Roman’s smile eased his nerves just the slightest bit. They sat together once again and Virgil couldn’t stop fidgeting as he thought about Janus. He checked his phone before class started and found no new texts. This only made him more anxious. 

Just as the teacher started class, Roman handed him something. It was an origami heart made out of some loose leaf paper. He couldn’t help but smile though he tried to suppress it. 

“Thanks, nerd,” he whispered, Roman chuckling softly. 

“You’re welcome, goth,” he whispered back. 

“Uh, the word is emo.”

“My bad, emo nightmare.” 

The origami heart was very clearly a distraction. It was appreciated even if it was blatantly obvious. 

After a couple classes, Virgil went to lunch and decided to sit with the group. He sat across from Roman, between Emile and Remy. Remy gave up their seat to make Virgil feel more included and he was not prepared for such a gesture. 

“Hey, Virge!” Patton greeted with a smile. “How’s your day been so far?”

“Ugh,” Virgil replied, taking a bite of his food. 

“Been there,” Remy said, popping a fry into their mouth. 

“Still no text from Janus.”

“They should still be in school, right?” Patton asked. 

“Yeah, but they’re homeschooled, and I don’t really… know how it works. They may have gotten the chance to text back, who knows.”

“Just be patient,” Patton said, not unkindly. “Don’t worry about it too much.”

“Telling me not to worry about something is like telling the sun to stop setting,” Virgil joked. 

“Still, you should just give them time,” Emile advised. “I know it’s easy to get in your own head and stress yourself out over something small, but you need to take a step back and remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. Have patience and let things work themselves out the way they’re meant to.” 

Virgil nodded, knowing he had a point. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Of course. I hope things work out the way you want them to.” 

Lunch ended soon enough, and Virgil made his way to his next class. As he waited for his teacher to start things up, he felt a vibration in his pocket that felt oddly like a text. 

His heart leapt into his throat. It had to have been Janus. Should he check it now? Should he wait? Class was about to begin, would it be worth it to look and then have to wait to reply? 

Ultimately, he decided to look. He had to know now, or else he may never look at all out of pure fear. 

He got his phone out of his pocket and was puzzled by the text he received. 

**Jay** : Who are you and why are you texting my son?


	10. An Unsettling State of Affairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for some cursing, crying, misgendering, and some distant father-son relations, lemme know if I missed anything!!! 🖤

Virgil got the biggest chill down his spine he’d ever felt in his life. Janus had mentioned that they didn’t like the idea of their parents finding out about their soulmate being a boy, and that gave him a rather negative outlook on Janus’s parents. 

Now he had to lie to them  _ and _ misgender Janus. Perfect. 

**V** : im a friend, well, a former friend i guess. i wanted to patch things up. do you mind telling me where he is? 

Virgil’s heart was pounding in his chest. It occurred to him that Janus may not have been their legal name, and he was worried about referring to them as it. He didn’t want to out them. 

**Jay** : Ok “former friend” he isn’t here right now. We can’t find him

Every particle in Virgil’s body exploded in that moment. 

**V** : you cant find him???? what do you mean????? 

**Jay** : I mean we can’t find him…? Been looking since this morning, he must’ve run off or something

Virgil could not believe Janus’s parents were being so casual about their disappearance. He couldn’t believe a lot of things about what was going on, but most of all this. 

**V** : where have you looked? has he given any indication of where he might go if he were to run away?

**Jay** : The house, our neighbors, the police station, everywhere. And no, I think I’d know something like that

They didn’t check Janus’s friends’ houses? They didn’t check Coco’s Diner? They didn’t check the park? Did they even  _ know _ their child? 

**V** : if you find him please get back to me. i want to know hes okay

He put his phone away and spent the rest of class suppressing a panic attack. It was so bad that he couldn’t even remember what class he was in. Everything on the paper in front of him made absolutely no sense to him anymore. 

Somehow, he was able to make it through the school day, but he came out the other side feeling incredibly drained. He climbed aboard the bus and spotted Remy and Emile. They moved closer to the window to give him room to sit. 

“Hey, Vee,” Remy greeted. 

Virgil sat down and rested his head on Remy’s shoulder. “Hi,” he mumbled. 

“What’s wrong, sugar cube?” they asked, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“Did you get a text from Janus yet?” Emile asked. 

Janus. Virgil realised suddenly that he may never find out what happened to them. He hadn’t even thought of that before but now it was all he could think about as tears threatened to spill over. 

“Virgil?” Remy pressed. “You good?”

Virgil began to tremble as his tears poured from his eyes. He tried to suppress a sob and failed, which only served to worry Remy and Emile that much more. 

“Virgil, breathe,” Emile soothed. “Deep breaths, okay?”

He tried to breathe the way he was told but it was difficult. He held Remy tighter, who did their best to soothe him. Over time, he was able to calm down, though he still clung to Remy. 

“Better?” they asked, Virgil nodding. “Wanna tell us what’s wrong?”

He did. He really did. However, with the movement of the bus and the surrounding clamour and the uneasy feeling it caused, he knew this wasn’t the place. 

“Can I… come over? To your house, I mean? I’m not comfortable saying here.”

“Of course, coffee bean!” Remy said. 

“No problem at all, Virgil!” Emile agreed. “I’m proud of you for telling us what you’re comfortable with.” 

Virgil almost hated the swell of pride in his chest at hearing praise. He couldn’t remember the last time someone was proud of him. 

They got to their stop and got off the bus. Virgil texted his dad and said he’d be across the street. The three of them went inside and headed up to Remy and Emile’s room. Emile and Remy sat on their respective beds while Virgil went back to the bay window. 

“Now what’s going on?” Remy asked. 

Virgil hugged a throw pillow to his chest. He wasn’t even sure where to begin. Coco rubbed her head against his leg, clearly trying to comfort him. It didn’t work as well as Virgil would have liked. 

“Well… I talked about Janus, right?” Virgil began. “Um… I got a text back.”

“What’d they say?” Remy quickly asked, clearly wanting some tea spilled. 

“Um… it was one of their parents. Apparently Janus is missing.”

There was some silence amongst the group until Emile spoke up. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you must be going through.”

Virgil thought he would be fighting back tears in this moment. More than anything, he felt empty. He was exhausted. 

“You need to get your mind off things,” Remy suggested. “How do you distract yourself?”

Virgil blinked. “Um… I don’t know. I try to watch movies and stuff but my mind wanders too much.” 

“You might need something more hands on to distract yourself,” Emile suggested. “Something that requires more mental energy makes it more difficult for your brain to fixate on the negative.” 

“Let’s play some video games!” Remy said with a smile on their face. 

“I don’t know if I’m in the mood for that.”

“Virge, you can’t just soak in negativity forever, it’s bad for your skin.”

Virgil scoffed. “I’m just exhausted, and I don’t feel like I can focus on much of anything.”

“We can play something relaxed and slow paced,” Emile said. “We have New Horizons if you wanna play that with us.”

“Yeah but be warned; local co-op sucks,” Remy cautioned. 

Virgil wasn’t sure if he was up for much of anything at the moment but he knew he should at least make an effort. For them. “Animal Crossing? Yeah, I… guess I’m down.”

“Hell yeah!” Remy cheered, getting up to turn the TV on. 

“You ever play any Animal Crossing games?” Emile asked. 

“I played a bit of, uh… I think it was New Leaf, with a friend back in Georgia. I really miss him.”

There was some silence until Remy spoke up. “Alright, it’s all ready to go!” 

They handed Emile a pink and white Princess Peach pro controller and handed Virgil a pair of joy-cons in a holder, grabbing their own GameCube style pro controller, which Virgil was admittedly quite envious of. 

They had Virgil make his profile and he designed a Mii. He then started up the game and designed his character and set up his tent on the island. It was very well designed with plenty of landscaping and decorations. There wasn’t much of a theme it seemed, but it was a delight nonetheless. 

“I’ve done most of the work here,” Remy said, throwing an accusatory glance at Emile. “Emmy here just wants to shop at the Able Sisters and Nook’s Cranny all day.”

“Hey! They have good items and clothing! If anything I thought  _ you _ would appreciate the fashion in Animal Crossing!” 

“Well, I do, but we gotta make Crystal Star the most badass boss bitch island in the game! We can’t do that if we don’t set the proper priorities.” 

“And you call  _ us _ nerds,” Virgil quipped, Remy rolling their eyes in response. 

“Ha, ha. Guess I deserved that.” 

Virgil grew more and more tired as he continued to play, but he did his best to focus. His eyes fluttered closed more than once, but he tried to stay awake. He leaned back against the window, staring closely at the screen. It wasn’t long before he began nodding off again, though. 

He shook his head to wake himself up. He could  _ not _ nap here. 

“I wanna change this area a small bit,” Remy said. “Move Gwen’s house next to Rosie’s and then make this area a cafe.”

“That’s gonna be expensive, Mx Bell Hoarder,” Emile teased. 

“I hoard bells for occasions like this, mind you. I like having plenty of cash to splurge on redesigning the island when I need to.”

“I wish I could live here,” Virgil suddenly said, his exhaustion perfectly conveyed in his tone. He barely even registered himself saying it. 

“Feel that,” Remy replied. “This island is so nice, even if it still needs improvement. I just wish that fucky-wucky YouTuber didn’t ruin the star fragment trees for us, I’m still salty as all hell—”

“Do you mean on the island or, like… here?” Emile asked. 

Virgil rubbed his eyes. “Uh… both.”

There was a beat of silence until Emile spoke up again. “So, it’s just you and your dad, right?”

Virgil nodded, though he was unsure where the question came from. 

“What's he like?” 

“Oh. Uh… I dunno, I don’t see him much. Quiet.” 

“You don’t see him much?” Remy repeated. 

“Yeah, he’s usually at work. Sometimes he has weird hours and I don’t see him during the evening, other times he’s at home by six when I’m still passed out in my room after school. I dunno, there’s just not a lot of time for us to interact, I guess. It’s fine, though.”

“It’s actually not,” Emile disagreed. “You need a healthy relationship with your father if it’s possible. Or at the very least, a healthy relationship with a father figure, even if it’s not your actual dad.”

“Like who? I never stay in one spot, remember?” 

“I’m your new parent now,” Remy stated very seriously. “New parental figure at the ready. How was school today, son?”

Virgil chuckled tiredly. “You’re younger than me.”

“That matters not.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and yawned into his hand. “Sure, okay. Whatever you say… parent.” 

“Virge, do you need a nap?” Emile asked, trying and failing to hide his amusement. 

“No,” he mumbled, though it was a lie. 

“Honey, the bags under your eyes have bags under them. If you need an hour or two we don’t mind. God knows I’ve had my fair share of naps in this room.”

“Well… yeah, this is your bedroom.”

Remy blinked. “Touché. But still, the room’s made for it.”

“I just don’t wanna overstep my bounds, I can just go home—”

“Do you want to go home?” Emile asked, catching Virgil off guard. 

He gave it some thought. What did he have waiting for him across the street? A dad who barely cared about what he did? A house he didn’t feel like he belonged in? A room that he wasn’t even that comfortable in to begin with? 

No, he didn’t want to go home, but that’s not what he said. 

“I don’t know.” 

After a moment of silence Remy got up and sat in the bay window next to him. “Get some rest. You’ve had a rough couple days, your body needs the rest.”

Virgil was too tired to fight it. He quietly sighed, glancing between Remy and Emile for a moment. 

“Okay,” he murmured. 

They got him a throw blanket and he laid down on one pillow while hugging another to his chest. He could already feel himself beginning to slip away. 

“You sure this isn’t… awkward?” he muttered. 

“Of course not,” Remy replied. “We’ll be downstairs if you need us, alright?”

Virgil nodded, and the two of them left. Virgil was asleep within seconds.


	11. A Surprise Return

Logan followed his mom through the airport. He would have been more excited had he not just spent twenty two hours on a plane. He was exhausted, frustrated, his whole body was aching and sore, and he was overstimulated to the max. 

But he was  _ home _ . 

His mom got an Uber to their house, and Logan couldn’t wait to re-embrace familiarity. He also couldn’t wait to surprise Patton and Roman by coming home a couple weeks early. 

He and his mom made it back to their house to unpack their belongings. Once everything was put away, Logan laid on his bed for a few minutes, taking it all in. 

He was back. He was dead on his feet and wanted to hibernate, but he was back. That meant he could see his soulmates. He may have been tired, but he had priorities. 

After a few more moments of respite, he got up and stood in front of his mirror. He fixed his hair to the best of his abilities, though it was so curly there was no real point. He noticed a tiny bit of facial hair on his chin and upper lip, and would be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised. He decided he liked it, though. It was distinguished. 

He went to one of the drawers in his desk and found some foundation and concealer. He went back to his mirror and applied both to the dark circles under his eyes. 

With that out of the way, he decided to go to Patton’s house. Of course, he thought it prudent to go to his mom to ask first. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind. 

He went to her room and opened the door. “Hey, mom, can I go to Patton’s house?” he asked. 

“You sure you don’t wanna hang out here for a bit?” she asked tiredly. “I, for one, never plan on leaving the house again.”

Logan chuckled. “I just… miss him and Roman.”

“You sap. Fine, you know where the keys are.”

“Thanks, mom!”

He grabbed his mom’s keys and went to her car. He took a deep breath and began driving to Patton’s house. 

Once he arrived, he smiled to himself. He loved this house. He had so many fond memories here. 

He walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. No sooner did he ring it than the door swung open and he was tackled by a certain someone’s animalis. 

“Buddi!” he heard Patton call. “What’s gotten into—” He stopped as he clearly recognised the person who’d been knocked over. Logan smiled up at him. 

“Hello, dearest,” he greeted with a smile, managing to get to his feet as he pet Buddi. “I’m back.” 

Patton blinked a few times, clearly in shock. Logan gave him time to process what was happening. He knew it must have been a lot. 

“Oh,” Patton finally said. “Hi.”

Logan’s smile grew. “Hi. I know this is unexpected, but my mother got to come home early and I thought I would surprise you.”

“You- it worked. It definitely surprised me. Um… I have kind of a surprise for you too.”

Logan raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Yeah, you should come in, I think. But first of all….” He suddenly brought Logan into a hug, who quickly returned it. He had missed Patton and his hugs so much. 

They went inside and sat down in the living room. Logan was admittedly nervous about what Patton had to say, but tried to calm his nerves. 

“So… I don’t know how to say this, but… I know about Virgil.”

Logan’s heart leapt into his throat. Virgil was here? That had to have been what that meant. Though, that also meant….

“I’m so sorry I never told you. I… was quite honestly ashamed of how things worked out. A few years after Virgil moved, I had to move as well. I told Virgil in a letter where to send future letters, but I never got a response. I fear I may have written the address wrong or something, but I’m not sure. I… should have tried harder to keep in touch. I should have done more.” 

“Oh, Logan, it’s not all your fault. These things just happen, you were both young. Besides, he obviously moved too, maybe he moved before he could get your letter. He misses you, you know.”

Logan’s eyebrows raised. “Really?”

“Yeah! I really think you should talk to him.” 

“I agree. I’m just not sure what to say.”

There was a pause between them until Patton spoke again. “You want me to text Roman? Let him know you’re here? I know he’ll be excited to see you.”

Logan nodded tiredly, rubbing his eyes. He smiled slightly at the thought of seeing Roman, running into his arms and embracing him, hearing his voice once more, and not just through a microphone. 

While waiting for him to arrive, Logan and Patton talked about how Logan’s stay in England was. He talked about places he went, things he saw, people he met. He may have missed his soulmates, but he had an amazing time away. 

It wasn’t long at all before the front door opened, and it must have been Roman. Logan got to his feet, smiling upon seeing his queerplatonic partner. Roman wasted no time in walking over to him and crushing him in a hug and spun him around a couple times, a gesture which was quickly returned. 

They stayed like that for a few moments, Roman gently swaying them to and fro. Logan had longed for Roman’s hugs the entire time he’d been gone. 

“Hey, nerd,” Roman finally whispered. 

“Hey, prep.” 

They both chuckled softly. It was so good to be here. 

“I missed you,” Roman said. 

“I missed you too. I hear a lot has happened while I was gone.”

“Yeah. I take it Patton has mentioned Virgil?”

Logan nodded. “I’m sorry for never telling you, I—”

“Hey. We all have secrets. It’s okay. You had your reasons.” 

Logan sighed softly with relief. He was glad that Roman wasn’t upset, he wouldn’t have been able to bear it. 

He didn’t want to let go, but he knew he had to. The two of them parted, and he glanced awkwardly between him and Patton. 

“I… suppose I should talk with Virgil. Um… do either of you have his number, or—?”

“Oh, shoot, we didn’t think of that!” Patton said. 

“He lives next to Remy and Emile, we can… go to them and meet with Virgil there, if that’s what he wants. I can text Emile and he can ask?”

“That… might work?” Patton hesitantly agreed. 

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Logan said with a nod. 

Roman sent Emile a quick text asking if Virgil would be okay with talking to Logan. Logan took a deep breath, surprisingly nervous. 

“What if he’s mad at me?” he asked softly. 

“I’m sure he isn’t,” Patton assured. “He seemed… more mad at himself, really.” There was a pause before he continued. “He knows our fifth soulmate.” 

A chill went through Logan’s entire body. 

“He does?”

“It’s… a little complicated, but yes,” Roman confirmed. “They’re not on speaking terms at the moment, but that will hopefully change soon.”

They had a falling out? Logan imagined that must have been difficult. Was he intruding on Virgil’s life just by being here? 

“I never imagined coming back to such… complications.”

Silence fell for a moment until Roman’s phone vibrated. He quickly looked at the text and nodded to himself. 

“Virgil said yes.”


	12. Sick of Losing Soulmates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be inconsistent with updating for the next few weeks. I recently got a job and that's been taking up a lot of time, so I have less time and energy to write. Hopefully I can get this done by mid 2021 tho, as a realistic goal! We might actually be somewhat close to the end 👀

_ Virgil sat up in a field of wheat. He stood up and looked around. He saw Janus in the distance. He tried to call to them but couldn’t find his voice. He waved his arms about to get their attention, but they were looking somewhere facing the right and didn’t see him.  _

_ He was about to give up until they suddenly turned their head, revealing the left side of their face. It was covered in yellow-green snake scales and their left eye was in matching colour. They smirked slightly and put a finger to their lips and began to walk away.  _

_ Virgil panicked and began running toward them. The faster he ran, the further away Janus got. He began to sob, trying so hard to reach Janus and failing.  _

He woke up to tears running down his face. 

He rubbed his eyes and wiped his face. He looked around the room, not seeing Remy or Emile. They must have given him privacy while he slept. 

His mind went to Janus. He was devastated over the events that had been transpiring for him recently. He couldn’t believe this was one of them, though. 

He sat up and took his phone out of his pocket. He went to his notes app and began writing out how much money he would need to do what he was planning on doing. 

He would allocate thirty dollars for food, thirty for water, fifty for gas, seventy-five for a motel unless his friends were willing to accommodate. Altogether, he would need a hundred and eighty-five dollars. He simply had no idea where he would get that money.

He would probably have to slip some from his dad’s wallet. He didn’t like the idea but it was either that or Janus may have never been seen ever again. He had to find them. 

He would wait until the weekend. It wasn’t too long until Friday, plus it would give him more time to prepare. He considered telling the others but part of him knew they would only try to stop him. 

Unless… they were willing to help. 

This was Patton and Roman’s soulmate too, they would surely understand. Remy seemed chaotic enough to go along with the plan, though Emile seemed more level headed. Although he also seemed like the emotional type, perhaps Virgil could benefit from that. 

He shook his head. No, bringing them into this would cause more problems. He had to go it alone. This  _ was _ his fault after all. 

If he hadn’t pushed Janus away, they never would have felt the need to run away. He would never forgive himself for what he’d done. 

The door slowly opened and Emile poked his head in. He swung the door open fully upon seeing Virgil awake. 

“Oh, you’re up and at ‘em, Atom Ant!” he said with a smile. “That’s good, I had something to ask you.”

“Lay it on me,” Virgil said, putting his phone away. 

“So… Logan came home early.”

Virgil got a tremendous chill down his spine. 

“He… did?”

“Yup! He wants to see you. I wanted to know if that was alright?”

Virgil had no idea what to say to that. Logan wanted to see him? Was it to tell him that he was a terrible soulmate? That Logan never wanted to see him again? Perhaps an exaggeration, and possibly not true at all, but Virgil couldn’t help but overthink. 

“I’m sensing some anxiety,” Emile said, reminding Virgil that he wasn’t alone in the room. 

“Uh, I’m fine. Just… do you know what he wants to talk about?”

“I don’t, Roman just told me he’s back and he wants to see you. I’m sure he won’t have anything bad to say, Virgil.”

“I’m not so sure.” 

“Now what makes you say that?”

“Well, there had to have been a reason he stopped writing to me, right? What if the reason was… me? I… I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m scared to find out.”

Emile walked over and sat in the bay window beside him. “Virgil, there are a million reasons the letters could’ve stopped coming. You don’t know everything that was happening in Logan’s life, so it’s possible something happened to prevent him from sending you letters. Even so, it’s been years now. If you did say something to offend him, you’re both more mature now and can move past it. You never know unless you try.”

Virgil had to admit he made a good point. It was almost enough to assuage his anxiety. Almost. 

“I’m just so nervous.”

“And you’re allowed to be. You haven’t seen Logan in years, suddenly seeing him again now will be nerve racking. I know Logan, though. He’ll keep things civil.” 

Virgil took a deep breath. His hands fidgeted in his lap as he mulled everything over. 

“Alright. I’ll… I’ll talk with him.”

“I’m proud of you.”

Virgil fought back a grin, not up for smiling right now. 

Not when there was work to be done. 

***

Virgil watched out the window as a car pulled into Remy and Emile’s driveway. He saw Roman in the passenger seat and could just barely make out Patton in the back. Then in the driver’s side… was that really Logan? 

Oh god, Logan was actually here. He was back in Virgil’s life. 

He held Coco to his chest, though she began to resist, likely sensing the three soulmates just outside the house. He let her down and fiddled with the ends of his sleeves, backing away from the window a bit. 

“Nervous?” Remy asked from behind, Virgil jumping slightly. “I get it. I promise, though, Logan’s great. He’s a good boy. He will be nice to you.”

Virgil wanted to believe that, he really did. His brain, however, insisted otherwise. 

It said “what if” without much elaboration, and while Virgil shouldn’t trust it, he somewhat did. It was too easy to fall for his mind’s tricks. 

The knock on the door was what made Virgil flee to the bathroom to hide. 

He locked the door and sat on the floor by the bathtub, hugging his knees to his chest. He knew he should stop hiding in bathrooms from his soulmates, but he was anxious as all hell. 

A gentle knock on the door. “Virgil?” Emile asked softly. “You good?”

Virgil wasn’t sure what to reply with. “I… I’m fine.”

“Are you hiding again?” Patton asked, sending a chill down Virgil’s spine. 

“I’m fine,” he repeated. 

Remy said something that he didn’t quite catch, but someone shushed them for it. 

“If you’d like to talk to Logan through the door, that shouldn’t be an issue,” Roman said. 

Virgil figured that may work. He was still uncertain, though. Would he be able to say anything at all? 

After a beat, Roman spoke again. “We’ll just give the two of you a moment, alright?” 

He heard the others leave, which meant Virgil was alone with Logan… in a sense. 

“Virgil?” 

Logan finally spoke, and Virgil was shocked at his voice. It wasn’t necessarily deep, but it was deeper than he had expected. 

“I know it’s been quite some time. I’m sure you have questions. But first and foremost… I’ve missed you. Quite a bit. I… I’m not sure what happened during our… exchange of letters, but if I ever said something to make you stop sending them, I apologise.”

Was Logan serious? It was Virgil who had stopped receiving letters, not the other way around. 

“When I found out I was moving I sent a letter telling you the new address as soon as I knew it, but now I wonder if I wrote the address wrong. I don’t suppose you remember that?”

Actually… he didn’t. Virgil had no recollection of a letter containing an address. Sure, it was quite a long time ago, but he thought something like that would stick out in his memory. 

“I must admit this isn’t how I imagined our, uh, reunion,” Logan said with an air of amusement. “Then again, I do remember your love of hiding places.”

Virgil smiled as he remembered hiding everywhere as a child. Under his bed, in trees, even in washing and drying machines. It annoyed his dad to no end. 

“Remember the time I hid underneath my dad’s car?” Virgil asked with a smile, his voice a bit rough. “He lost his mind when he found me.”

Logan chuckled, and Virgil’s smile grew. 

“You were a terrible influence on me. I started hiding under my bed to do homework and it drove my mother up the  _ wall _ .” 

Virgil gave a short laugh. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, it… started after you left.”

Virgil’s smile faltered. He wondered what else he missed out on. 

He got to his feet and went to the door. He rested his hand on the knob and silently sighed. He unlocked it and after a moment, finally opened the door. 

He couldn’t help but smile at seeing Logan, though he looked so much different now. At least his curly hair stayed the same as always. 

“Hi,” Logan squeaked, and Virgil couldn’t help but laugh at his tone. 

“Hey.”

There was some silence between them until they finally crushed one another in a long awaited hug. They stood there in silence like that for some time until Virgil finally spoke up. 

“You’re so  _ tiny _ .” 

Logan laughed. “And you’re a giant.”


	13. Some Catching Up To Do

Virgil sat with Logan on the couch, Patton and Roman squeezing in on the opposite side. Remy and Emile gave them some privacy, knowing all four soulmates could use the time alone together. 

“So… how did all of you… meet?” Virgil asked tentatively, unsure of where else to begin. 

“I met Patton first,” Logan began. “I moved here around the time you and I… uh, well, and then I met Patton. I wanted to tell him about you so badly but… part of me felt it wasn’t my place, I suppose. Um, well, anyway, Roman then moved here about three years after that.”

Virgil forced a smile. “Yeah, speaking of… um… meeting soulmates—”

“Ah, yes, you know our fifth soulmate, correct?”

Virgil paused. “Yeah. I take it they told you?”

“Oh, should we not have?” Patton asked. “Maybe not, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Uh, yeah, their name is Janus. I… um… pushed them away when I found out I was moving here. And I regret it a lot.”

“Have they texted you back yet?” Roman asked, a pang of anxiety hitting Virgil in the chest. 

“Yeah,” he murmured. 

“What’d they say?” Patton asked, very clearly wanting to know. 

Virgil stared down at his hands. “Actually… um, one of their  _ parents _ texted back.” 

“Oh god, what happened?” Roman asked, his tone suggesting he knew it was bad. 

“They… um… Janus went missing.”

A deafening silence filled the room until, quite unexpectedly, Logan gave him a hug. 

Logan always hated physical contact, so to be hugged by him unprompted was rather surprising to say the least. Clearly a lot more changed than Virgil had realised. 

Logan suddenly pulled away. “Uh, sorry. I know you always liked hugs when we were kids, but you might not now, so I—”

Virgil interrupted him by hugging him. Logan hesitated for only a moment before returning it. For someone with such a small stature, Logan was surprisingly good at giving hugs. 

“Virgil I’m so sorry Janus is missing,” Patton said sympathetically. “I wish there was something we could do.”

Virgil continued to hold Logan like his life depended on it. “Me too.” 

“Do you have any idea where they might be?” Roman asked. 

“I have some ideas but… it’s not like it matters. I know Janus, if they ran away, it means they don’t wanna be found. They probably won’t go somewhere obvious.”

“I wish I… knew what to say… or do,” Patton murmured. 

“It’s okay,” Virgil said softly. 

After some awkward silence, Roman finally spoke. “You know what you need? A Disney marathon. That’s what I do when I’m in distress.”

“How’s that gonna help, exactly?” Virgil asked. 

“Uh, how does Disney  _ not _ help is the question,” Roman retorted. He got up from the couch. “I’m gonna get Remy and Emile, and the marathon can begin.” He went up the staircase, and Virgil knew there was no stopping him. 

“He tends to get carried away,” Logan said with a short laugh. “He’s so dramatic.”

Virgil realised he was still hugging Logan. He decided not to let go just yet. 

Once Roman came back with Remy and Emile, the marathon commenced. They took a vote on what to start with, as it was between Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin. Roman insisted that Aladdin won despite it having fewer votes, so they decided to let him have it. 

“Despite knowing the words to every Disney song, this one is still a bit of a… problem area for my memory, not sure why,” Roman said, talking about Arabian Nights at the beginning of the movie. 

“Then you don’t actually know the words to  _ every _ Disney—” 

Roman shushed Logan, holding up a finger to his lips. Logan rolled his eyes fondly and Virgil couldn’t help but smile. 

“I do wonder why this random shopkeeper is breaking the fourth wall,” Roman added. “Who is he? Is he the genie? Is he just a random narrator character they added in at the beginning for no reason? My guess is the latter.”

“Listen, I don’t think it’s supposed to make sense, it’s a  _ Disney _ movie, hon,” Remy retorted. 

“I mean, that’s fair, but I still want answers.”

“Are you gonna make fun of the movie the  _ entire _ time?” Virgil asked lightheartedly. 

“Well, if I don’t ask these very important questions, then who will?”

“No one, that’s the point,” Remy snarked. 

They then watched as Aladdin escaped the guards while stealing food, and of course Roman had more to say. 

“You know, if Aladdin has been a thief his whole life just to get by, then you’d think he wouldn’t have gotten caught so easily. But, ya know, we needed the song, and I do admit it is a bop.”

“That was a little Abu’s fault, though, I think,” Virgil pointed out.

“Well then Aladdin needs to train his monkey more.” 

When Jasmine almost gets punished for stealing, Roman had all sorts of problems. 

“Look, there’s no _way_ she doesn’t know you have to pay for things! There’s just no way! She may be sheltered, but surely she understands the most basic principles of life outside the palace, right? Also, wow, threatening to chop off hands in a children’s movie. One of those things you don’t think about much, but when you do, yikes.”

“I will pay you to shut up,” Remy said, Virgil chuckling. 

He had to admit, a movie on its own may not have taken his mind off things, but a movie with commentary was hard not to focus on. 

“What makes Aladdin the diamond in the rough, anyway? Sure, he gives his bread to those orphan kids, but is that  _ really _ enough? I mean, he’s still a thief, right? He lives dishonestly and in complete squalor.”

“But that’s  _ exactly _ why he’s a diamond in the rough!” Patton spoke up. “Even when he lives life the way he does, he opens his heart to others! That makes him more than worthy of being a diamond in the rough!”

“Maybe, but still, it’s a little iffy. And is Abu a diamond in the rough too? He’s able to go into the cave of wonders.”

“Maybe he doesn’t count as an extra person because he’s a monkey?” Emile suggested. 

“Well, later, him touching that ruby makes the whole place collapse in on itself, so I highly doubt that.” 

Virgil glanced over at Logan, who’d grown quiet as he laid his head on Virgil’s shoulder. He smiled when he realised Logan was asleep. He must’ve been exhausted from the plane ride. 

“Guys,” he said in a hushed tone. “Might wanna keep it down a little.”

Patton looked over and visibly fought back a squeal. “Oh my gosh, he’s cute.”

“Poor nerd must be worn out after such a long flight,” Roman said fondly. “Shame he’ll miss out on the marathon, though.”

“Somehow, I think he’ll survive,” Virgil said sarcastically. 

Virgil had never thought of himself as a people person. He was an introverted mess at the best of times and had developed unhealthy habits to prevent himself from feeling hurt. 

Perhaps he was a people person after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: haven’t seen Aladdin in a hot minute so some of the sins roman tallied might have obvious answers haha


End file.
